I am not a parent, however my problem deals with a parent/daughter relationship and I found this forum through google and it seemed the most relevant to my concerns. I'll try to keep this as short as I can: My girlfriend (31 yr) and I (27yr) have been together for 3 years. During the first couple of years we had our ups and downs. Some of those "downs" were financial differences. I'm an avid saver and long term thinker. I have no debt. She has chosen to live her life in the moment and has a lot of irregular debt. I consider "irregular" debt to be anything besides car payment, student loans, rent/mortgage etc. Basically she has a lot of consumer debt. We lived together for one year and had to move out due to both of us changing jobs and such things. We moved back home, planning to only stay for a couple months. We've chosen to stay at home for a year now because we had some arguments and weren't sure about the relationship. Now that we have that out of the way - to put it simply, I've always known that my girlfriend "borrowed" money from her mom when things were tight and she needed a little extra to cover her bills. She "borrows" it because her mom has put her in charge of a savings account that she hides from her father (step dad). She gives my girlfriend money each month to deposit into that account that is secret. My girlfriend is in charge of the account A) so that it's secret and B) because my girlfriend's mom is originally from another country and doesn't speak English hardly at all so it's easier for her daughter to take care of many things like this for her. I found out tonight (she told me) that she nearly had a panic attack because her mom asked for her money - $13,000 in total. She wanted to transfer it to a new account. My girlfriend apparently spent all of it and has NONE of it. She spent it on her debt, etc. I didn't even know what to say. I knew she "borrowed" money and that felt sketchy to me but I thought she paid it back - or at the very least I didn't think she took that much. I'm struggling with this from a moral sense. I work in law enforcement and this goes against my morals. In fact it's criminal, and I would arrest someone for it. But this is also a girl I love and have been with for 3 years. Her mom works for less than minimum wage due to being foreign and having trouble with the language (she's legal, though). I can only imagine how long it took for someone like her to save $13,000. Her mom has NO idea her money is missing, and my girlfriend has a lot of stress that she will need it before she pays it back. Her "plan" is to get a second job and pay it back slowly after she's done with her Masters degree in May. She's been in therapy for a year, and she's been working hard to get a higher paying job to pay this stuff off. How do I talk to her about this? If this was your daughter what would you do? I'm so confused as to where I should stand right now. Any help is appreciated.