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Parent Emeritus
She will never be normal, will she?
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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 327094" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>Hi, I think I responded to your first thread on general. These kids are tough. No one ever promised us easy or perfect kids. I dont think they even exist. I have three boys and even the easiest one has his challenges. </p><p></p><p>When you describe your dtr as the pot smoker who wont do anything, I am reminded of the commercial that shows the guy in the cocoon that grows up around him like a huge bud of grass. Ever seen that one? I think its one of those parents against drugs or something like that. He goes into the cocoon as a teen and comes out as a middle aged man! </p><p></p><p>Nah...I dont think so. My son was smoking pot and I just got tired of having to defend my house against him doing it here. I really didnt much care if he smoked it and I may be in the minority on that because it really did seem to help his bipolar when he smoked just a minor amount but I wasnt having it at my house. So, we had him leave. He got his own place and he is doing so much better. </p><p></p><p>As far as your feelings about your child, well, I doubt you really feel hatred deep down. Hate is not the opposite of love, apathy is. There were times I hated my son too. It was because we were in a bitter tug of war against each other. When we finally stopped the fighting, our relationship became much better and we actually found the love that was there all along. I always loved him but I detested the things that he was doing. It wasnt that I hated him, I hated what he was doing but I just couldnt see it at the time. Kind of the forest for the trees thing. </p><p></p><p>It may be that you are going to have to have your daughter move out in order to save any type of relationship you may have in the future. It may not be easy at first. She may hate you for doing that to her. So be it. One day she will thank you for making her grow up.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 327094, member: 1514"] Hi, I think I responded to your first thread on general. These kids are tough. No one ever promised us easy or perfect kids. I dont think they even exist. I have three boys and even the easiest one has his challenges. When you describe your dtr as the pot smoker who wont do anything, I am reminded of the commercial that shows the guy in the cocoon that grows up around him like a huge bud of grass. Ever seen that one? I think its one of those parents against drugs or something like that. He goes into the cocoon as a teen and comes out as a middle aged man! Nah...I dont think so. My son was smoking pot and I just got tired of having to defend my house against him doing it here. I really didnt much care if he smoked it and I may be in the minority on that because it really did seem to help his bipolar when he smoked just a minor amount but I wasnt having it at my house. So, we had him leave. He got his own place and he is doing so much better. As far as your feelings about your child, well, I doubt you really feel hatred deep down. Hate is not the opposite of love, apathy is. There were times I hated my son too. It was because we were in a bitter tug of war against each other. When we finally stopped the fighting, our relationship became much better and we actually found the love that was there all along. I always loved him but I detested the things that he was doing. It wasnt that I hated him, I hated what he was doing but I just couldnt see it at the time. Kind of the forest for the trees thing. It may be that you are going to have to have your daughter move out in order to save any type of relationship you may have in the future. It may not be easy at first. She may hate you for doing that to her. So be it. One day she will thank you for making her grow up. [/QUOTE]
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She will never be normal, will she?
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