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Parent Emeritus
She will never be normal, will she?
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<blockquote data-quote="Bean" data-source="post: 327172" data-attributes="member: 8620"><p>Thank you for posting this; I needed it. The initial posts and the responses. </p><p></p><p>Fork, a little over a week ago my husband and I were venting to each other about the fantasy of living in another country where, when your children shamed themselves and you so painfully you could shoot them. It was a vent, and not serious, but it was so obvious how terrible we were feeling at the moment. So I know how you feel, sister. I do.</p><p></p><p>I'm guessing that, though we have a whole lot of difficult children to talk about here, there really is a pretty solid group of decent parents. We probably wouldn't be here if we didn't care anymore. We'd have kicked them out, washed our hands and not looked back. We are here so we can enable our souls to deal with the pain we are feeling, but to also keep our hearts open (albeit guarded) for their return, to keep us functional for our spouses, other children, friends - for <em>ourselves</em>.</p><p></p><p>I've spent so many years trying to advocate, support, aid, love, help. It is easy to lose yourself in the process. I found myself a wonderful local parent advocate group in the process (and a friend who understands). As much as I seek the community to "fix" things for me, the only real change I can make is in myself. I'm working on it, slowly. And concentrating on what most people who have "been there done that" say - keep loving them, be firm, <u>take care of yourself</u> and, me personally, I continue to pray and hand things over to God, seeking wisdom, peace and forgiveness.</p><p></p><p>Please make a goal to pick something to do for you in the next day. A movie, a dinner, a relief from a duty you would normally do. It really is important.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Bean, post: 327172, member: 8620"] Thank you for posting this; I needed it. The initial posts and the responses. Fork, a little over a week ago my husband and I were venting to each other about the fantasy of living in another country where, when your children shamed themselves and you so painfully you could shoot them. It was a vent, and not serious, but it was so obvious how terrible we were feeling at the moment. So I know how you feel, sister. I do. I'm guessing that, though we have a whole lot of difficult children to talk about here, there really is a pretty solid group of decent parents. We probably wouldn't be here if we didn't care anymore. We'd have kicked them out, washed our hands and not looked back. We are here so we can enable our souls to deal with the pain we are feeling, but to also keep our hearts open (albeit guarded) for their return, to keep us functional for our spouses, other children, friends - for [I]ourselves[/I]. I've spent so many years trying to advocate, support, aid, love, help. It is easy to lose yourself in the process. I found myself a wonderful local parent advocate group in the process (and a friend who understands). As much as I seek the community to "fix" things for me, the only real change I can make is in myself. I'm working on it, slowly. And concentrating on what most people who have "been there done that" say - keep loving them, be firm, [U]take care of yourself[/U] and, me personally, I continue to pray and hand things over to God, seeking wisdom, peace and forgiveness. Please make a goal to pick something to do for you in the next day. A movie, a dinner, a relief from a duty you would normally do. It really is important. [/QUOTE]
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She will never be normal, will she?
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