Hi, I am new. Three weeks ago I would have never imagined the path my life has recently taken. I am an Aunty not a parent but I am for now the acting parent to my niece.
We ( my husband and I ) recently "inherited" my niece in an effort to get her to a safe place to be and on the so called right track. I am now beginning to think my love and actions for her was very naive beit well intentioned. I had no idea it would be like this.
In her hometown.....The niece was into drugs and booze. She began a new job and after only one day thought she had made brilliant new friends in one of her workmates a pregnant female ............ so she went back to the new friend's place after work the same evening and seemingly all got on like a house on fire....booze and drugs were involved. The there was talk of going somewhere for either food, drinks or something else possibly more drugs.....so the niece went with the two men of the house ( sent out by the new female friend and wife/girlfriend of one of the men ) ................she was then taken to a property, threatened with a gun, taken to a van in the middle of a field on a farm , van had a mattress in it and she was raped by the two men.......they returned her to the original house she was out and then made out like she was a great friend of theirs and wouldnt deliver her home till the next afternoon. Her mind was reeling with confusion...she knew she had been raped by two men but they were also suddenly treating her like a mate again and back to new found friends etc. The pregnant female had set her up in exchange for drugs.
Once she was home and the rape was discovered by her father ( my brother ) she was taken to hos[ital for tests etc. She was too scared to go to police as it turns out these guys were heavy duty drug dealers ( ones brother was in jail, for murder and the one whose brother was in jail for murder was also involved in a disappearance of someone a very sinister situation but no proof so he still ran free ) .....so things got a bit scary. Then the rapists/drug dealers were trying to get my niece to come back to work and get a further hold on her. Police have been very hesitant in acting and it seems are on the take ....
This is where we came in and my brother brought her to us for safety reasons. Far enough away to be safe from those looking for her.
Barely a day went by after my brother left for home and she put herself on a meeting place thing on the net....an internet predator latched onto her within moments trying to meet up. Later that night she went missing........we found ourselves driving the streets looking for her 2am-ish....found a 4 wheel drive parked in a funny place and knew...just knew she was in that car. So we parked with our headlights on full beam into that vehicle until she got out and ran for home.
Now the shortened version of subsequent events is
**suicide attempts, doctor advising committal to psychiatric ward at nearby town, brother and mother wouldnt allow....more sleepless nights for aunty on both suicide watch and talking to her all hours of the night and day trying to keep her from harm and talk sense into her,
**her possible seeking out drugs by going to nearby parks all too often
** forming quick and unusual attachments to newly discovered "friends" and going off with them and not letting us know where she was
** then came the test results from the rapes revealing she had contracted a STD, followed by a quick visit to her friend ( drugs and booze related friend ) and the next two days we experienced extremely odd behaviour which I feel was drug related although she swears not but she lies a heck of a lot so cant really believe much of what she says anymore .....found a mini plastic baggie in her room that I feel had crystal meth in it at some point and she most likely got from that friend the day she found out about her STD.
** then a new boyfriend but someone she once knew in her hometown. A good guy not into drugs...very anti drugs....and not all that into booze either
** she lands a job a pretty good one where she wont be tending bar and access to again booze and drugs but caring for aged people.
** Night before she began work ( after after two weird nights of possible drug use ) she hits the booze....totally legless, rip roaring drunk. We think maybe nerves about the job...and let it slide. Next night the same and then she takes off into the night with another newly found "friend" swearing to send us the address so we know where she is ...she doesnt send the address and comes home even worse for wear than when she left .....tripped up the steps getting into the house, cant stand and cant even hold her head up....totally blind drunk. I let her have it with both barrells...told her I was not impressed and she had work the next day. Next day they sent her home from work "sick" but she was obviously still under the influence...so jeopardising her job.
** She got us to drop her off to the next town to be with her boyfriend but I felt something was up...thats she was lying and she was also acting strangely....gone fri night till tuesday morning
Turns out she wasnt with him at all expect for one night before she came home....she was off with her friend who does the drugs and booze. She didnt eat for days but admitted to two bottles of spirits and i suspect some drugs were used
She flipped when she saw her bedroom had altered...I had removed her bedding for washing and she must have assumed her room had been searched for whatever and she phoned my brother saying I had trashed her room....I hadnt . Trashed is how she left it and was treating the room.
she and the boyfriend have split up
so here we are...feeling quite shell shocked....
I have a niece who has been held at gunpoint, kidnapped and raped ....given a STD, threatening suicide at every turn, hates herself ( and this goes back years not just due to recent events ) is paranoid constantly, not eating for days then eating everything in sight, not sleeping, wandering the house in the middle of the night, texting and phoning various people 24 hours a day, not caring what happens to her or what she does to anyone else, lying all day every day about everything, stating she cannot function without alcohol, and possibly still taking drugs when they can be provided to her. She says she cannot talk to or meet new people without being drunk when she does or they wont like her.
I am losing sleep, I cannot work, I cannot leave her alone in the house, I cannot leave her alone at home if we have to go anywhere, trust has gone out the window, I cant believe her anymore, I am having to hide any household booze, and any prescription drugs in case. I cant send her home as she isnt safe where she used to live....those men came to her previous home looking for her and parked down the end of the street in various vehicles waiting for her to show up ( in her home town not here ) . My brother is also battling issues with his wifes health and mental health issues as well and is struggling to cope.
We have no crisis counsellors in this town, we have AA but I am guessing not relating to young people....if she goes into the psychiatric ward due to suicide intentions she will be voluntary and able to get straight back out and run and she will be in another town..... we are all at our wits end and mentally , financially and physically bankrupt with so little left in reserve.............. I sleep some nights in a chair near her bedroom ...in case ....so I obviously am not getting quality sleep either.
Tomorrow I will look for a psychologist/ counsellor if there is one and see what they can advise re counselling thinking any kind is better than none.
I am an aunty in crisis......its affecting my health. I cant send her home...she wont be safe....I have to try and get through.....I have to get her on the right path............ any help gratefully received
