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Should I keep my mouth shut?
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 155204" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>My first thought to: </p><p> </p><p>Should I keep my mouth shut? </p><p> </p><p>I dunno - could I? </p><p> </p><p>I know you love your son. No doubt. I know you like this girl too, but it sounds like (reading between the lines) like you would like to sit down and give her that HERE is where you are going to be in 10 years speech. Which while admirable on your part would drive a wedge between you and your son. </p><p> </p><p>I say this because when I met my x - he was so many things manerly, nice, above reproach on his intentions, honest, almost to a fault - I thought I had found prince charming. I sent flowers to his Mom thanking her for such a wonderful son. Knowing that he was kinda into drugs, drinking and quite the ladies man -her ONLY retort when calling to thank me for the flowers..."Are you sure you sent these to the right Mom?" </p><p> </p><p>THAT was my big "I told you so" and over the years anytime after we were married there were problems and she stuck her nose in it - she managed to stick my nose in HER Are you sure you sent those flowers to the right Mom comment like a dog in a pile on the living room floor. She would turn to EVERYONE and say "I told her he was an addict." (never) "I told her he was an alcoholic?" (NOT ONCE - but met him several times at the bar to buy her drinks) "I told her he'd never be true to her." (oh yeah I remember that one -pft. not) </p><p> </p><p>So I'm just wondering .....If the "advice" you want to give this girl isn't maybe more of a warning. And for that if that - you are to be commended, BUT (HUGE BUTT) I agree with Witz - in this current matter? Butt out. Should they ever decide to marry and you feel it is wrong for her BECAUSE of your son? Say your peace, but be warned - She is SURE she can fix him with love. </p><p> </p><p>At this point you have to say - It could work and be happy walking away from it. If you can't be happy and you want to stir a hornets nest (aka difficult child) by saying "HERE IS ALL MY ADVICE." go ahead, but me thinks it would be a mistake. </p><p> </p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 155204, member: 4964"] My first thought to: Should I keep my mouth shut? I dunno - could I? I know you love your son. No doubt. I know you like this girl too, but it sounds like (reading between the lines) like you would like to sit down and give her that HERE is where you are going to be in 10 years speech. Which while admirable on your part would drive a wedge between you and your son. I say this because when I met my x - he was so many things manerly, nice, above reproach on his intentions, honest, almost to a fault - I thought I had found prince charming. I sent flowers to his Mom thanking her for such a wonderful son. Knowing that he was kinda into drugs, drinking and quite the ladies man -her ONLY retort when calling to thank me for the flowers..."Are you sure you sent these to the right Mom?" THAT was my big "I told you so" and over the years anytime after we were married there were problems and she stuck her nose in it - she managed to stick my nose in HER Are you sure you sent those flowers to the right Mom comment like a dog in a pile on the living room floor. She would turn to EVERYONE and say "I told her he was an addict." (never) "I told her he was an alcoholic?" (NOT ONCE - but met him several times at the bar to buy her drinks) "I told her he'd never be true to her." (oh yeah I remember that one -pft. not) So I'm just wondering .....If the "advice" you want to give this girl isn't maybe more of a warning. And for that if that - you are to be commended, BUT (HUGE BUTT) I agree with Witz - in this current matter? Butt out. Should they ever decide to marry and you feel it is wrong for her BECAUSE of your son? Say your peace, but be warned - She is SURE she can fix him with love. At this point you have to say - It could work and be happy walking away from it. If you can't be happy and you want to stir a hornets nest (aka difficult child) by saying "HERE IS ALL MY ADVICE." go ahead, but me thinks it would be a mistake. Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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