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Should we get difficult child a car?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 590990" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I have not read all the responses. My answer? NO. Not just NO but HECK NO!</p><p></p><p>He can call you for a ride but not be civil to you or expend enough energy to say 'Hi" even in a monotone mumble when you walk up to him? And you want to give him a CAR? </p><p></p><p>Do you see how strange your thoughts are on this topic? he has not asked you for a car. He did not take care of the one you gave him in the past. He has not saved up any portion of the money needed to purchase the car. His treatment of you is so bad that he wont' even tell your spouse hello in a halfway human way, much less a civil or polite way, and you still have it occur to you that he needs a car and you should put your hard earned money toward getting one for him?</p><p></p><p>Please take the money you would spend on a vehicle for him and use ti for therapy to help with enabling behavior and codependence. I am NOT being snarky here. There is a real disconnect in your thought process and it would best be helped by a professional. I truly hope you can see how strange your thoughts on this are and how wrong they are. They will NOT help him grow up and be the father he needs to be. I know you want to make his life better so that he can be a good dad, It is too late for that. He has to learn this all on his own because he has pushed you and his father away time and again. </p><p></p><p>It is wrong to give him a car right now. Totally wrong. He has to start to earn what he needs and not depend on it being given to him without him doing a single thing for it. He does not respect you or his dad and he will never respect anything you give to him. He can get a bike and ride the ten miles, or take the bus, or walk or get a friend to drive him. He has pushed away and/or spat on your attempts to help him and he needs to live with the consequences of that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 590990, member: 1233"] I have not read all the responses. My answer? NO. Not just NO but HECK NO! He can call you for a ride but not be civil to you or expend enough energy to say 'Hi" even in a monotone mumble when you walk up to him? And you want to give him a CAR? Do you see how strange your thoughts are on this topic? he has not asked you for a car. He did not take care of the one you gave him in the past. He has not saved up any portion of the money needed to purchase the car. His treatment of you is so bad that he wont' even tell your spouse hello in a halfway human way, much less a civil or polite way, and you still have it occur to you that he needs a car and you should put your hard earned money toward getting one for him? Please take the money you would spend on a vehicle for him and use ti for therapy to help with enabling behavior and codependence. I am NOT being snarky here. There is a real disconnect in your thought process and it would best be helped by a professional. I truly hope you can see how strange your thoughts on this are and how wrong they are. They will NOT help him grow up and be the father he needs to be. I know you want to make his life better so that he can be a good dad, It is too late for that. He has to learn this all on his own because he has pushed you and his father away time and again. It is wrong to give him a car right now. Totally wrong. He has to start to earn what he needs and not depend on it being given to him without him doing a single thing for it. He does not respect you or his dad and he will never respect anything you give to him. He can get a bike and ride the ten miles, or take the bus, or walk or get a friend to drive him. He has pushed away and/or spat on your attempts to help him and he needs to live with the consequences of that. [/QUOTE]
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Should we get difficult child a car?
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