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Should we go or not?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 470224" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I would speak to the counselor. You don't have to prove that you love her. If all of the time, effort, $$ and everything else done up to this point are not going to convince her that you love her, no visit for a few hrs in a rehab will. For all her insistence that you don't love her, that truly is NOT the problem. The problem is that she doesn't love herself. </p><p></p><p>I wouldn't go because it rewards her for giving you the silent treatment. Unless the counselor says that you visiting is URGENT and gives a very good reason for why they are urgent, take that date nght and go somewhere you want to go.</p><p></p><p>For ALL of the energy she is expending on whether you love her, moving back home, etc....., she is taking away energy she needs to use to recover. It is just the way it is. Your visits keep the focus off of difficult child and what difficult child needs to do to embrace sobriety fully. Send letters, maybe a care pkg wth cigarettes, cookies, whatever, but don't let her use your weekly visit to stir up koi that will distract her from her job right now (getting/staying sober is her job).</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 470224, member: 1233"] I would speak to the counselor. You don't have to prove that you love her. If all of the time, effort, $$ and everything else done up to this point are not going to convince her that you love her, no visit for a few hrs in a rehab will. For all her insistence that you don't love her, that truly is NOT the problem. The problem is that she doesn't love herself. I wouldn't go because it rewards her for giving you the silent treatment. Unless the counselor says that you visiting is URGENT and gives a very good reason for why they are urgent, take that date nght and go somewhere you want to go. For ALL of the energy she is expending on whether you love her, moving back home, etc....., she is taking away energy she needs to use to recover. It is just the way it is. Your visits keep the focus off of difficult child and what difficult child needs to do to embrace sobriety fully. Send letters, maybe a care pkg wth cigarettes, cookies, whatever, but don't let her use your weekly visit to stir up koi that will distract her from her job right now (getting/staying sober is her job). [/QUOTE]
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