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Substance Abuse
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<blockquote data-quote="Albatross" data-source="post: 717362" data-attributes="member: 17720"><p>LBL, you both needed a good laugh!</p><p></p><p>Copa, that is a good question. I don't know. I obviously suffer from acceptance issues myself.</p><p></p><p>I think acceptance is harder when they are underfoot, especially when we have expectations of change on their part. I think M feels some responsibility to fix or change your son, and you feel responsibility to make sure your son will be ok after you are not around to watch out for him anymore. Your son comes up short of these expectations, and it causes all of you hurt. I think you all have been through this cycle of having him back, having him not live up to what you expected, having him leave, and it's so very hard on all of you.</p><p></p><p>So I don't know. Maybe explore through counseling what reasonable expectations are, and what boundaries you are all comfortable with? Maybe drop ALL expectations and just spend a couple of hours a week in a benign visit, just listening and being with him? And definitely what LBL said, about focusing on your own life, and what RE said, about having YOUR peace of mind be what drives your efforts.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Albatross, post: 717362, member: 17720"] LBL, you both needed a good laugh! Copa, that is a good question. I don't know. I obviously suffer from acceptance issues myself. I think acceptance is harder when they are underfoot, especially when we have expectations of change on their part. I think M feels some responsibility to fix or change your son, and you feel responsibility to make sure your son will be ok after you are not around to watch out for him anymore. Your son comes up short of these expectations, and it causes all of you hurt. I think you all have been through this cycle of having him back, having him not live up to what you expected, having him leave, and it's so very hard on all of you. So I don't know. Maybe explore through counseling what reasonable expectations are, and what boundaries you are all comfortable with? Maybe drop ALL expectations and just spend a couple of hours a week in a benign visit, just listening and being with him? And definitely what LBL said, about focusing on your own life, and what RE said, about having YOUR peace of mind be what drives your efforts. [/QUOTE]
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