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sibling sexual behavior
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 605563" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>We adopted an eleven year old boy who sexually acted out on my two younger kids. It's not safe to have a child like that in the house and it is impossible to monitor him closely enough to know if he will do it again. It's not a behavior problem. He was either abused himself sometime (most likely) or saw sexual stuff happening. I don't know about his early years, but maybe they were chaotic and maybe he lived with mom and maybe she had a slew of sleazy boyfriends come and go. Regardless, it has damaged him to the point where he has been inappropriate for a long time now, probably longer than a year. The victim rarely tells the whole truth while the predator (in your case an eight year old boy) is living in the same house. Curiousity is consensual. When a child makes his sibling do sexual things that she doesn't want him to do, it is no longer consensual.</p><p></p><p> This is not being a disobedient child. This boy is very disturbed and your husband doesn't seem to understand that just talking to him won't make him better or worse. He needs serious, serious interventions and even then...who knows? Kids who act out sexually are dangerous. Curiously, does he seem cruel to animals or is he fascinated with fire or does he wet the bed? This can all be part of a cycle of a child who was himself abused and is not abusive other children (or at least one child).</p><p></p><p>Be sure to get therapy for your daughter. As for your son, I'm not convinced he should live in the same house as your daughter. Or any younger girl child. Even if you just go to the bathroom and they are alone together, he can be a threat to her and I agree with the psychologist that he should not be in a situation like camp with other children. The child we adopted no longer is a part of our family. I am not saying you should do that, but he may not be able to live in your house in a safe way and you may have to parent him while he lives in another place.</p><p></p><p>I'm really sorry that you had to live our nightmare. ((((Hugs))))!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 605563, member: 1550"] We adopted an eleven year old boy who sexually acted out on my two younger kids. It's not safe to have a child like that in the house and it is impossible to monitor him closely enough to know if he will do it again. It's not a behavior problem. He was either abused himself sometime (most likely) or saw sexual stuff happening. I don't know about his early years, but maybe they were chaotic and maybe he lived with mom and maybe she had a slew of sleazy boyfriends come and go. Regardless, it has damaged him to the point where he has been inappropriate for a long time now, probably longer than a year. The victim rarely tells the whole truth while the predator (in your case an eight year old boy) is living in the same house. Curiousity is consensual. When a child makes his sibling do sexual things that she doesn't want him to do, it is no longer consensual. This is not being a disobedient child. This boy is very disturbed and your husband doesn't seem to understand that just talking to him won't make him better or worse. He needs serious, serious interventions and even then...who knows? Kids who act out sexually are dangerous. Curiously, does he seem cruel to animals or is he fascinated with fire or does he wet the bed? This can all be part of a cycle of a child who was himself abused and is not abusive other children (or at least one child). Be sure to get therapy for your daughter. As for your son, I'm not convinced he should live in the same house as your daughter. Or any younger girl child. Even if you just go to the bathroom and they are alone together, he can be a threat to her and I agree with the psychologist that he should not be in a situation like camp with other children. The child we adopted no longer is a part of our family. I am not saying you should do that, but he may not be able to live in your house in a safe way and you may have to parent him while he lives in another place. I'm really sorry that you had to live our nightmare. ((((Hugs))))! [/QUOTE]
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