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Siblings ?? or someone is "spreading the news"...Rats!
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 532197" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>DDD--I totally understand what you are saying. My cousin used to say (when going through treatment for cervical cancer) that when people showed up who had not seen her it really creeped her out. she especially hated when they wanted a picture, when they had never had a picture with her ever in the past! She said it felt like they were on the death watch. She was gracious to them in person of course but vented to those of us who were part of her daily life after. I'm sorry that this awkward piece has moved into your experience, I am sure many really do care and it is just hard to know what to do, but in my closer family, we call each other to check first. Like my mom is having surgery in a little while. She would rather we wait till it is over then go ahead and send out a text/email about it. Just makes her nervous to have people contacting her before it (not serious, a hernia thing but still...). </p><p></p><p>The whole experience is kind of a huge loss of a certain amount of control and this part of it just adds to that. How ever you feel about it all is legit., there are just no rule books on these things. Any way you can let your kids know that you'd prefer a little more privacy? Maybe one of them could take over all communication in and out? I gather your style would not be to have a caringbridge type of page (some say it helps reduce the number of responses people have to make, and you can deal with it when you are up to it while others manage the page....but with you preferring privacy it might not feel comfortable)...just throwing the thought out there....</p><p></p><p>Thanks for letting us know how you feel, I think that is really important. You are in my thoughts as all of this board family is. Keep venting away, must feel very strange.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 532197, member: 12886"] DDD--I totally understand what you are saying. My cousin used to say (when going through treatment for cervical cancer) that when people showed up who had not seen her it really creeped her out. she especially hated when they wanted a picture, when they had never had a picture with her ever in the past! She said it felt like they were on the death watch. She was gracious to them in person of course but vented to those of us who were part of her daily life after. I'm sorry that this awkward piece has moved into your experience, I am sure many really do care and it is just hard to know what to do, but in my closer family, we call each other to check first. Like my mom is having surgery in a little while. She would rather we wait till it is over then go ahead and send out a text/email about it. Just makes her nervous to have people contacting her before it (not serious, a hernia thing but still...). The whole experience is kind of a huge loss of a certain amount of control and this part of it just adds to that. How ever you feel about it all is legit., there are just no rule books on these things. Any way you can let your kids know that you'd prefer a little more privacy? Maybe one of them could take over all communication in and out? I gather your style would not be to have a caringbridge type of page (some say it helps reduce the number of responses people have to make, and you can deal with it when you are up to it while others manage the page....but with you preferring privacy it might not feel comfortable)...just throwing the thought out there.... Thanks for letting us know how you feel, I think that is really important. You are in my thoughts as all of this board family is. Keep venting away, must feel very strange. [/QUOTE]
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