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General Parenting
Sick of my 18 year old and her boyfriend!
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 662315" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Hi Anna. I agree with everybody else. Especially about the part that you seek whatever public assistance for which you might qualify, so that you are not in the position of being or feeling dependent</p><p>It sounds like your authority as a parent is being compromised because you do not have or feel authority in your housing situation. This needs to be addressed first, I think.</p><p></p><p>But the thing is, it could be that the main issue is parental authority, and that having or not having legal authority over the apartment is not primary.</p><p></p><p>I have an adult child who is not living with us at this time. My SO has lived with me in my house for 6 years. That said, I am the primary breadwinner. So if I think about it, he is in the same situation as yours.</p><p></p><p>He would never in a million years describe himself as homeless. Nor would he ever feel without authority over what affects him. While he may yield authority to me, I would feel he has authority over himself and what affects him, including my son.</p><p></p><p>I am fine with this and would want him to take charge even more. Over my own son.</p><p></p><p>What I am saying here is that you have authority over your household, no matter where you live. Your rules, not hers. That is my thinking. The legal authority means not one thing at all. And it is a question of whether or not you are exercising it, by standing up to her, which to me is your right to do.</p><p></p><p>I would have all kinds of problems with the current situation: The food, the laying around all day, the disrespect of it all. And I would set about trying to get back my own authority.</p><p></p><p>Good luck and keep posting.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 662315, member: 18958"] Hi Anna. I agree with everybody else. Especially about the part that you seek whatever public assistance for which you might qualify, so that you are not in the position of being or feeling dependent It sounds like your authority as a parent is being compromised because you do not have or feel authority in your housing situation. This needs to be addressed first, I think. But the thing is, it could be that the main issue is parental authority, and that having or not having legal authority over the apartment is not primary. I have an adult child who is not living with us at this time. My SO has lived with me in my house for 6 years. That said, I am the primary breadwinner. So if I think about it, he is in the same situation as yours. He would never in a million years describe himself as homeless. Nor would he ever feel without authority over what affects him. While he may yield authority to me, I would feel he has authority over himself and what affects him, including my son. I am fine with this and would want him to take charge even more. Over my own son. What I am saying here is that you have authority over your household, no matter where you live. Your rules, not hers. That is my thinking. The legal authority means not one thing at all. And it is a question of whether or not you are exercising it, by standing up to her, which to me is your right to do. I would have all kinds of problems with the current situation: The food, the laying around all day, the disrespect of it all. And I would set about trying to get back my own authority. Good luck and keep posting. [/QUOTE]
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