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Substance Abuse
Sigh! Friggin enablers!
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<blockquote data-quote="Trpl" data-source="post: 549330" data-attributes="member: 15097"><p>I completely understand the point of view that certain things should be allowed regardless of punishments. </p><p></p><p>My main goal with difficult child right now is to impress on him what he's lost and to make him *earn* back what he lost. It's only been two weeks. He has been doing very well. Not complaining about school, doing his homework with out being asked, not complaining about chores given to him daily, coming up clean on spot checks. So, at this point my point of view is *It's working* and while he is earning things back..it is in very small steps. I guess I just feel like they are trying to throw the progress I feel I'm making out the window. </p><p></p><p>As for showing him I love him, I am. He may be.. well, now I might as well say 17..but I still tuck him in every night and tell him how proud I am of him for doing the things we've asked of him and staying on track. I tell him every day that because I love him, I will not let him fail. I will do everything in my power to help him become the man he wants to be, even if it means protecting him from hisself. </p><p></p><p> So far, he's earned back the privileges of listening to music, he's allowed to get a drink without asking, and yesterday I even left him at home alone for half an hour. </p><p></p><p>I'm taking this very slow and in tiny increments. My cigarettes (yes I realize that issue) all the pills in the house, all the car keys, money, computers and phones are still locked down. I wear the key 24/7. And all I can think is, so far it's working. I Don't want to lose it by giving him this gift of a trip and time with his girlfriend. This will be his first *social* event since we brought him home..should he really be allowed to ignore his punishment, grab at that freedom and then have to start all over? Go back under chains? I just don't think, at this early point, that's the way to go. </p><p></p><p>I appreciate and value all of your opinions so much because you've all been there but I think I'm going to have to stand strong in this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Trpl, post: 549330, member: 15097"] I completely understand the point of view that certain things should be allowed regardless of punishments. My main goal with difficult child right now is to impress on him what he's lost and to make him *earn* back what he lost. It's only been two weeks. He has been doing very well. Not complaining about school, doing his homework with out being asked, not complaining about chores given to him daily, coming up clean on spot checks. So, at this point my point of view is *It's working* and while he is earning things back..it is in very small steps. I guess I just feel like they are trying to throw the progress I feel I'm making out the window. As for showing him I love him, I am. He may be.. well, now I might as well say 17..but I still tuck him in every night and tell him how proud I am of him for doing the things we've asked of him and staying on track. I tell him every day that because I love him, I will not let him fail. I will do everything in my power to help him become the man he wants to be, even if it means protecting him from hisself. So far, he's earned back the privileges of listening to music, he's allowed to get a drink without asking, and yesterday I even left him at home alone for half an hour. I'm taking this very slow and in tiny increments. My cigarettes (yes I realize that issue) all the pills in the house, all the car keys, money, computers and phones are still locked down. I wear the key 24/7. And all I can think is, so far it's working. I Don't want to lose it by giving him this gift of a trip and time with his girlfriend. This will be his first *social* event since we brought him home..should he really be allowed to ignore his punishment, grab at that freedom and then have to start all over? Go back under chains? I just don't think, at this early point, that's the way to go. I appreciate and value all of your opinions so much because you've all been there but I think I'm going to have to stand strong in this. [/QUOTE]
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Sigh! Friggin enablers!
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