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Substance Abuse
Sigh! Friggin enablers!
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<blockquote data-quote="Trpl" data-source="post: 549622" data-attributes="member: 15097"><p>The trip up to the guardians on Sunday went well. When difficult child first figured out where we were going he got quiet. After bugging him for about 10 minutes he finally admitted that he was happy to go but wasn't going to want to leave. </p><p>I gave him a few minutes of silence (no nagging) then explained I understood his point of view. He didn't want leave in the first place, he loves them, and had a life built here. </p><p>Then I asked him if he'd be willing to hear another point of view. He said yes. I told him that, in my opinion, he should take this opportunity to show them that he is ok, healthy, and determined to better him self so he can come back a better man. Also that he should not take advantage of the time and use it to show the people he cares about that he does love and appreciate them and then take the time to say good bye properly. </p><p>He asked if his girlfriend would be there. I told him "surprise, I have been in contact with her since his first day home letting her know how he is doing and that she has been making changes in her life also and had good news for him." (she moved out of her mom & step dad's alcoholic house where they let my difficult child stay with her drinking and smoking into her clean father's house and then went to talk to a recruiter about joining the military.)When we got there, there was some extra kids there that weren't supposed to be but I didn't complain. He stayed where I could see him like I asked. His girlfriend was determined to make sure he stayed out of trouble also. My sister, her husband and kids came up and bought stuff to make lunch (quickly turning party here, but I kept my mouth shut about it) they thankfully didn't bring presents that I would have felt I had to keep from him. We spent about 5 hours with them (he was attached to his girlfriend mostly). When we left, he let me in on a few things under the surface I didn't know. The extra kid was the boy that he'd been smoking pot with, BUT I heard that kid tell my difficult child to stay clean and make good choices unlike he did him self. It kinda made me feel bad for him because I guess he doesn't have anyone to help him get things straight. He was very respectful to me and of difficult child's rules. The other under the surface thing was that TG's oldest son (also 17) was high while we were there and difficult child mentioned he'd probably gone with TG's husband to smoke it. I asked him if he saw anything wrong with that..he said "no, it's just fun. What's wrong with having fun?" SIGH!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Trpl, post: 549622, member: 15097"] The trip up to the guardians on Sunday went well. When difficult child first figured out where we were going he got quiet. After bugging him for about 10 minutes he finally admitted that he was happy to go but wasn't going to want to leave. I gave him a few minutes of silence (no nagging) then explained I understood his point of view. He didn't want leave in the first place, he loves them, and had a life built here. Then I asked him if he'd be willing to hear another point of view. He said yes. I told him that, in my opinion, he should take this opportunity to show them that he is ok, healthy, and determined to better him self so he can come back a better man. Also that he should not take advantage of the time and use it to show the people he cares about that he does love and appreciate them and then take the time to say good bye properly. He asked if his girlfriend would be there. I told him "surprise, I have been in contact with her since his first day home letting her know how he is doing and that she has been making changes in her life also and had good news for him." (she moved out of her mom & step dad's alcoholic house where they let my difficult child stay with her drinking and smoking into her clean father's house and then went to talk to a recruiter about joining the military.)When we got there, there was some extra kids there that weren't supposed to be but I didn't complain. He stayed where I could see him like I asked. His girlfriend was determined to make sure he stayed out of trouble also. My sister, her husband and kids came up and bought stuff to make lunch (quickly turning party here, but I kept my mouth shut about it) they thankfully didn't bring presents that I would have felt I had to keep from him. We spent about 5 hours with them (he was attached to his girlfriend mostly). When we left, he let me in on a few things under the surface I didn't know. The extra kid was the boy that he'd been smoking pot with, BUT I heard that kid tell my difficult child to stay clean and make good choices unlike he did him self. It kinda made me feel bad for him because I guess he doesn't have anyone to help him get things straight. He was very respectful to me and of difficult child's rules. The other under the surface thing was that TG's oldest son (also 17) was high while we were there and difficult child mentioned he'd probably gone with TG's husband to smoke it. I asked him if he saw anything wrong with that..he said "no, it's just fun. What's wrong with having fun?" SIGH! [/QUOTE]
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