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General Parenting
Sitting here crying, frustrated, overwhelmed..i could just scream! Kinda long sorry
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<blockquote data-quote="AnnieO" data-source="post: 435919" data-attributes="member: 6705"><p>Hi there - and lots of gentle hugs.</p><p> </p><p>I have a slightly different perspective. My husband was not on the same page for a long, long time. I am the "strict" parent, and I am "only" a stepmother. However, there are things I was not willing to tolerate in my house. And I have, for a long time, actually tolerated the stuff I didn't want to.</p><p> </p><p>My husband looked at it like he should keep giving Onyxx chance after chance after chance. That really didn't work - but it was also what some counselors suggested, and the only thing the law would <em>let</em> him do. A lot of people who didn't live with our situation thought we were just terrible parents. And that's not it.</p><p> </p><p>I found this board 2 1/2 years ago out of sheer desperation. Looking for some answers to Onyxx's behavior. In that time, I still haven't been able to convince husband to join. I know he's come by a few times, but not often. However - just this week he finally hit the wall with her behavior and she is now out of the house. She wanted to be out, and she is now - and she's NOT enjoying it.</p><p> </p><p>But for ages and ages I was so frustrated with husband. How could he NOT SEE what she was doing to the REST of the family? Him included? Why was the criminal allowed privileges and the rest of the family, law-abiding citizens, had to live on lockdown like prisoners? WHY?</p><p> </p><p>...He did see. He was trying a different approach. He figured if he gave her enough rope, she'd either macramé or hang herself. It took a LONG time. But she hung herself - with a nicely macramé'd noose. And when she did? Now he and I are on the same page.</p><p> </p><p>The thing is - all the pushing in the world will NOT help. Having information available will. Having him go to appointments - psychiatrist/therapist/whatever - will help. You cannot change him, or his thoughts. That is up to him. However, you can be an example. And since you are with your daughter more often, you will have to.</p><p> </p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/hugs.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":hugs:" title="hugs :hugs:" data-shortname=":hugs:" /> FWIW? Spankings only get their attention. They're not good consequences unless you wish to teach an animal (child, or otherwise) fear and violence.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AnnieO, post: 435919, member: 6705"] Hi there - and lots of gentle hugs. I have a slightly different perspective. My husband was not on the same page for a long, long time. I am the "strict" parent, and I am "only" a stepmother. However, there are things I was not willing to tolerate in my house. And I have, for a long time, actually tolerated the stuff I didn't want to. My husband looked at it like he should keep giving Onyxx chance after chance after chance. That really didn't work - but it was also what some counselors suggested, and the only thing the law would [I]let[/I] him do. A lot of people who didn't live with our situation thought we were just terrible parents. And that's not it. I found this board 2 1/2 years ago out of sheer desperation. Looking for some answers to Onyxx's behavior. In that time, I still haven't been able to convince husband to join. I know he's come by a few times, but not often. However - just this week he finally hit the wall with her behavior and she is now out of the house. She wanted to be out, and she is now - and she's NOT enjoying it. But for ages and ages I was so frustrated with husband. How could he NOT SEE what she was doing to the REST of the family? Him included? Why was the criminal allowed privileges and the rest of the family, law-abiding citizens, had to live on lockdown like prisoners? WHY? ...He did see. He was trying a different approach. He figured if he gave her enough rope, she'd either macramé or hang herself. It took a LONG time. But she hung herself - with a nicely macramé'd noose. And when she did? Now he and I are on the same page. The thing is - all the pushing in the world will NOT help. Having information available will. Having him go to appointments - psychiatrist/therapist/whatever - will help. You cannot change him, or his thoughts. That is up to him. However, you can be an example. And since you are with your daughter more often, you will have to. :hugs: FWIW? Spankings only get their attention. They're not good consequences unless you wish to teach an animal (child, or otherwise) fear and violence. [/QUOTE]
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Sitting here crying, frustrated, overwhelmed..i could just scream! Kinda long sorry
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