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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 514285"><p>First of all-everything you are feeling is NORMAL. So don't add any guilt or worry over it to the mix!</p><p></p><p>You suffered a tremendous loss. You have been a champ. Honestly, I was a newbie when your h died and I was so touched by the way you reached out to me (and others) in your own time of terrible loss and grief. Not only did you put one foot in front of the other-you wrapped your arms around other people in pain. You are a blessing.</p><p></p><p>Now, I am just a hardware gal-not a psychiatrist or therapist (tho I play one on cd lol) but if I had to give you diagnosis:</p><p></p><p>You are starting to accept your loss and are realizing you need to move forward. You've done a grand job of not falling into the abyss-and you've kept yourself out of it by establishing a routine, handling your responsibilities, reaching out to others -esp your kids & grands, basically by staying busy. Unfortunately, you've also had to navigate a few crises btwn estate stuff, Katie, Travis's SS, and your mom. But fortunately, life seems to be on a more even keel now. So, you are catching your breath. And now, that the grief isn't so RAW (still exists, always will) and you feel you are safe from the abyss - you are realizing there is more to life. But you're not sure what "more" is and you resent that you have to reinvent yourself when this WASN'T WHAT YOU WANTED. </p><p></p><p>There IS more to life and you are a young woman with massive talents and abilities and so much love to give. Things will get better. We all are resistant to change. But that too will pass. Your life is taking you on a path you didn't expect. You're a woman used to being in control because you are a really skilled leader who thinks on her feet. So you are resisting. That's ok. It's a new phase. Baby steps. You'll find your way-I have no doubt. </p><p></p><p>If you want advice...try a grief group or a volunteer organization. Reach out. I know how much more comfortable it is to turn inward, I am the same way.(that's why I post here) but you know that as comfortable as turning inward may feel-it's not the healthy thing to do. So, try something new -volunteer doing something you love. You'd be a tremendous asset to so many places. Or look for a support group. Find other women experiencing the loss of a spouse or a life transition. You'll find comfort there.</p><p></p><p>But whatever you do-don't beat yourself up. You are amazing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 514285"] First of all-everything you are feeling is NORMAL. So don't add any guilt or worry over it to the mix! You suffered a tremendous loss. You have been a champ. Honestly, I was a newbie when your h died and I was so touched by the way you reached out to me (and others) in your own time of terrible loss and grief. Not only did you put one foot in front of the other-you wrapped your arms around other people in pain. You are a blessing. Now, I am just a hardware gal-not a psychiatrist or therapist (tho I play one on cd lol) but if I had to give you diagnosis: You are starting to accept your loss and are realizing you need to move forward. You've done a grand job of not falling into the abyss-and you've kept yourself out of it by establishing a routine, handling your responsibilities, reaching out to others -esp your kids & grands, basically by staying busy. Unfortunately, you've also had to navigate a few crises btwn estate stuff, Katie, Travis's SS, and your mom. But fortunately, life seems to be on a more even keel now. So, you are catching your breath. And now, that the grief isn't so RAW (still exists, always will) and you feel you are safe from the abyss - you are realizing there is more to life. But you're not sure what "more" is and you resent that you have to reinvent yourself when this WASN'T WHAT YOU WANTED. There IS more to life and you are a young woman with massive talents and abilities and so much love to give. Things will get better. We all are resistant to change. But that too will pass. Your life is taking you on a path you didn't expect. You're a woman used to being in control because you are a really skilled leader who thinks on her feet. So you are resisting. That's ok. It's a new phase. Baby steps. You'll find your way-I have no doubt. If you want advice...try a grief group or a volunteer organization. Reach out. I know how much more comfortable it is to turn inward, I am the same way.(that's why I post here) but you know that as comfortable as turning inward may feel-it's not the healthy thing to do. So, try something new -volunteer doing something you love. You'd be a tremendous asset to so many places. Or look for a support group. Find other women experiencing the loss of a spouse or a life transition. You'll find comfort there. But whatever you do-don't beat yourself up. You are amazing. [/QUOTE]
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