Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Sleep in your bed now.
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 114383" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>As far as the bed and why she won't get into it - there are a million variables to why she got rid of her first bed and why she doesn't like her second one. </p><p></p><p>Since there isn't going to be a psychiatric. in the near future to work on issues of fear and anger - or to give her coping skills for sleeping in a new bed - it kinda leaves suggestions from 1 - infinity as to why she's doing what she's doing. A lot of her behavior could be minimized with a psychiatric. doctor, an evaluation and therapy. Not just for her either - for all of you. I was in denial about what happened to my son, it was depressing, and it made me insane - but I thought if I'm 34 and can't handle this - what in the world is my son age 6 going through? No way of telling - until I went to the therapist. </p><p></p><p>But - if it's a matter of trying to get her to sleep in it - give it up. Let her sleep on the floor. Get some sheets and make a fort or palace out of the bottom bunk so she has extra privacy. </p><p>If she keeps going back to the living room - get up, get her up, make her go to her room, put her blanket and pillow in the room and say nothing more than YOU SLEEP IN HERE. NO arguing, no attitude, no yelling - just simply YOU, sleep here. </p><p></p><p>You have an angry child on your hands. You have an angry girl child who claims to be molested and is being offered no coping skills because her mother is waiting for the insurance. Mental health works on a sliding scale fee...but you have to call them for an appointment. </p><p></p><p>I can't imagine when you do go back to court and a judge says to your wife "What type of counseling have you provided the girls?" and she says "Oh I'm still waiting to hear back from our insurance" that that statement will fly with him. Because the first thing he's going to tell you both is Mental health is free </p><p></p><p>I hope your kids get professional help somewhere. I hope you keep coming back here for support. </p><p></p><p>STar</p><p></p><p></p><p>ps. Ask yourself this question. If I couldn't even sleep in a bed because my nightmares and dreams were wracked with visions of molestation - do you think brushing your teeth and listening would be high on your list of things to do that day? </p><p></p><p>Your kid has found a way to cope with a horrible situation. In our world it's called self-taught coping skills. They are not good coping skills, but for a child of her age, suffering what she did, it's the best her brain could figure out for self-preservation. </p><p></p><p>Trying to get a child with her level of frustration, anger, and depression to do ANYTHING seemingly normal is a good start but until she works through her anger in counseling - trying to teach her about vegetables and hygiene is like putting on your shoe and then your sock. She isn't going to be able to cope and it's going to push her into further depression and self-loathe, and it can ultimately wreck her self esteem. </p><p></p><p>And your wife sounds like she has Battered wife syndrome and if she doesn't want to wait for the insurance to get herself into therapy - then make her call a battered womens shelter. IT TAKES YEARS AND YEARS WITH a good Therapist to begin to see the light at the end of the abused wife tunnel. Apparently the situation IMVHO has put her in denial about her daughters, she is wracked with guilt and she also has NO coping skills. </p><p></p><p>PLEASE seek therapy - you have a lovely family - and the kids have a great dad - and a wonderful, hard working Mom. They just need help and unfortunately that sounds like YOU are going to have to step up and make some decisions for them.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 114383, member: 4964"] As far as the bed and why she won't get into it - there are a million variables to why she got rid of her first bed and why she doesn't like her second one. Since there isn't going to be a psychiatric. in the near future to work on issues of fear and anger - or to give her coping skills for sleeping in a new bed - it kinda leaves suggestions from 1 - infinity as to why she's doing what she's doing. A lot of her behavior could be minimized with a psychiatric. doctor, an evaluation and therapy. Not just for her either - for all of you. I was in denial about what happened to my son, it was depressing, and it made me insane - but I thought if I'm 34 and can't handle this - what in the world is my son age 6 going through? No way of telling - until I went to the therapist. But - if it's a matter of trying to get her to sleep in it - give it up. Let her sleep on the floor. Get some sheets and make a fort or palace out of the bottom bunk so she has extra privacy. If she keeps going back to the living room - get up, get her up, make her go to her room, put her blanket and pillow in the room and say nothing more than YOU SLEEP IN HERE. NO arguing, no attitude, no yelling - just simply YOU, sleep here. You have an angry child on your hands. You have an angry girl child who claims to be molested and is being offered no coping skills because her mother is waiting for the insurance. Mental health works on a sliding scale fee...but you have to call them for an appointment. I can't imagine when you do go back to court and a judge says to your wife "What type of counseling have you provided the girls?" and she says "Oh I'm still waiting to hear back from our insurance" that that statement will fly with him. Because the first thing he's going to tell you both is Mental health is free I hope your kids get professional help somewhere. I hope you keep coming back here for support. STar ps. Ask yourself this question. If I couldn't even sleep in a bed because my nightmares and dreams were wracked with visions of molestation - do you think brushing your teeth and listening would be high on your list of things to do that day? Your kid has found a way to cope with a horrible situation. In our world it's called self-taught coping skills. They are not good coping skills, but for a child of her age, suffering what she did, it's the best her brain could figure out for self-preservation. Trying to get a child with her level of frustration, anger, and depression to do ANYTHING seemingly normal is a good start but until she works through her anger in counseling - trying to teach her about vegetables and hygiene is like putting on your shoe and then your sock. She isn't going to be able to cope and it's going to push her into further depression and self-loathe, and it can ultimately wreck her self esteem. And your wife sounds like she has Battered wife syndrome and if she doesn't want to wait for the insurance to get herself into therapy - then make her call a battered womens shelter. IT TAKES YEARS AND YEARS WITH a good Therapist to begin to see the light at the end of the abused wife tunnel. Apparently the situation IMVHO has put her in denial about her daughters, she is wracked with guilt and she also has NO coping skills. PLEASE seek therapy - you have a lovely family - and the kids have a great dad - and a wonderful, hard working Mom. They just need help and unfortunately that sounds like YOU are going to have to step up and make some decisions for them. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Sleep in your bed now.
Top