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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 114589" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>I had a thought - </p><p></p><p>Survival is not living - it's existing. If your wife and kids are not going to go to therapy as the head of your household I would suggest that YOU find the time, make the effort to go on your own. </p><p></p><p>At LEAST you will have a professional to bounce your fears, thoughts, worries, cares off of and in return get some viable solutions for your family. I say this to you because when no one in my home would consent to "going to see a man who will tell you you are crazy" I went. I actually snuck to therapy before I left my abusive x. I told him I was playing on a pool league (which going to a bar, drinking and hanging out was okay, but a therapist was OUT). Once I started going - I got the idea of which therapist was listening, which was not, who I thought I could talk to and who I couldn't. Sometimes you get really lucky and just walk in and get a good one you click with. </p><p></p><p>Could you go to the VA and ask for therapy? (By the way thank you for serving and protecting us) But if not the VA - I urge you to either call a local women's shelter and ask them if they will send you some literature. It sounds like your wife is in total denial about EVERYTHING. She's basically shut down, and going through the motions of life - she's not living. That's so sad - She sounds like a very loving person - but it's HARD to take that first step. So if she CAN NOT, and you love her - YOU GO. </p><p></p><p>If there is no womens shelter IN your area - there are plenty of resources on the internet - and in the front of every phone book ( I think) are numbers for hot lines - if you need help just ask. </p><p></p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 114589, member: 4964"] I had a thought - Survival is not living - it's existing. If your wife and kids are not going to go to therapy as the head of your household I would suggest that YOU find the time, make the effort to go on your own. At LEAST you will have a professional to bounce your fears, thoughts, worries, cares off of and in return get some viable solutions for your family. I say this to you because when no one in my home would consent to "going to see a man who will tell you you are crazy" I went. I actually snuck to therapy before I left my abusive x. I told him I was playing on a pool league (which going to a bar, drinking and hanging out was okay, but a therapist was OUT). Once I started going - I got the idea of which therapist was listening, which was not, who I thought I could talk to and who I couldn't. Sometimes you get really lucky and just walk in and get a good one you click with. Could you go to the VA and ask for therapy? (By the way thank you for serving and protecting us) But if not the VA - I urge you to either call a local women's shelter and ask them if they will send you some literature. It sounds like your wife is in total denial about EVERYTHING. She's basically shut down, and going through the motions of life - she's not living. That's so sad - She sounds like a very loving person - but it's HARD to take that first step. So if she CAN NOT, and you love her - YOU GO. If there is no womens shelter IN your area - there are plenty of resources on the internet - and in the front of every phone book ( I think) are numbers for hot lines - if you need help just ask. Star [/QUOTE]
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