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Small update. Not a good one
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 668627" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I am sorry, Lila.</p><p></p><p>I am in a similar situation with my son. Different particulars, same feelings and absence of any control.</p><p></p><p>I am posting threads of Viktor Frankl quotes on the FOO Forum. How do they apply to us? He was a psychiatrist who was taken to concentration camps. He got through by finding meaning in a situation where he had no control what so ever and lost everything that he held dear.</p><p></p><p>I believe, while not trivializing his experience, we as mothers are in similar straits. We have found our meaning and purpose through our children. Now, when our children are flailing, we feel as we are crashing against the rocks.</p><p></p><p>After reading several times the first thread of quotes I realized that there has been for my the opportunity to transcend my situation. I too have choices I can make to find purpose and meaning again, apart from my son. I realize that is is appropriate. I cannot any more legitimately attach my own meaning through the actions of another adult person over whom I have no control.</p><p></p><p>There is a quote, and I will paraphrase here, that says something like this: In a breath, between inhaling and exhaling, is choice. I am seeing that I have been holding my breath, for the past almost two years, almost like a child throwing a fit, who holds their breath, and passes out.</p><p></p><p>I am an adult. I can choose how to think about myself and my life. Today, I see that. Yesterday, I did not. </p><p></p><p>There are several of us who are actively posting now, who are in similar places with respect to our children. Feeling Sad has a thread. New Leaf posts there and on others. Myself. Either we do not know where are children are, cannot contact them, or have deep fear about what might befall them. Or all of the above.</p><p></p><p>Lila, you are not alone. Look for us. Join us.</p><p></p><p>There is a way through this a way to overcome. It is not through what our children do or do not do, say or do not say. It is in us.</p><p></p><p>Take care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 668627, member: 18958"] I am sorry, Lila. I am in a similar situation with my son. Different particulars, same feelings and absence of any control. I am posting threads of Viktor Frankl quotes on the FOO Forum. How do they apply to us? He was a psychiatrist who was taken to concentration camps. He got through by finding meaning in a situation where he had no control what so ever and lost everything that he held dear. I believe, while not trivializing his experience, we as mothers are in similar straits. We have found our meaning and purpose through our children. Now, when our children are flailing, we feel as we are crashing against the rocks. After reading several times the first thread of quotes I realized that there has been for my the opportunity to transcend my situation. I too have choices I can make to find purpose and meaning again, apart from my son. I realize that is is appropriate. I cannot any more legitimately attach my own meaning through the actions of another adult person over whom I have no control. There is a quote, and I will paraphrase here, that says something like this: In a breath, between inhaling and exhaling, is choice. I am seeing that I have been holding my breath, for the past almost two years, almost like a child throwing a fit, who holds their breath, and passes out. I am an adult. I can choose how to think about myself and my life. Today, I see that. Yesterday, I did not. There are several of us who are actively posting now, who are in similar places with respect to our children. Feeling Sad has a thread. New Leaf posts there and on others. Myself. Either we do not know where are children are, cannot contact them, or have deep fear about what might befall them. Or all of the above. Lila, you are not alone. Look for us. Join us. There is a way through this a way to overcome. It is not through what our children do or do not do, say or do not say. It is in us. Take care. [/QUOTE]
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