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Parent Emeritus
Smokescreens, homelessness, darned if ya do or don't
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<blockquote data-quote="katya02" data-source="post: 383627" data-attributes="member: 2884"><p>I understand the stress of knowing that your difficult child is living in a pig sty with people you know are bad news. Our difficult child did so for well over a year, during which time we just couldn't believe he would choose to live like that. Eventually, however, he opened his eyes and decided it wasn't ok to live in filth, drenched in cat urine, in a hoarder's paradise. He decided HE wanted a clean, orderly place and went out and found a job. We couldn't have convinced him. So, although it's hard to watch, maybe your difficult child needs to be miserable enough to take steps on her own. It sounds as if she's irritated with her roomie but otherwise has not much intention of changing things in her life. I think you're right in holding your boundary and keeping your family's wellbeing as top priority. If your difficult child tells you it's impossible for her to quit pot, she won't quit it at your house or your parents'. She'll just do what she does in more comfortable surroundings, and you'll be the miserable one.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="katya02, post: 383627, member: 2884"] I understand the stress of knowing that your difficult child is living in a pig sty with people you know are bad news. Our difficult child did so for well over a year, during which time we just couldn't believe he would choose to live like that. Eventually, however, he opened his eyes and decided it wasn't ok to live in filth, drenched in cat urine, in a hoarder's paradise. He decided HE wanted a clean, orderly place and went out and found a job. We couldn't have convinced him. So, although it's hard to watch, maybe your difficult child needs to be miserable enough to take steps on her own. It sounds as if she's irritated with her roomie but otherwise has not much intention of changing things in her life. I think you're right in holding your boundary and keeping your family's wellbeing as top priority. If your difficult child tells you it's impossible for her to quit pot, she won't quit it at your house or your parents'. She'll just do what she does in more comfortable surroundings, and you'll be the miserable one. [/QUOTE]
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Smokescreens, homelessness, darned if ya do or don't
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