So aggravated and a little scared

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by JJJ, Oct 5, 2012.

  1. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    We are halfway through a 5 hour drive. Tigger fell asleep. Without us able to hear them (they are in the back of the van), Eeyore took Tigger's iPod. Tigger has a code on it so Eeyore asked Piglet to unlock it. She guessed his password and handed it back. Eeyore promptly used up most of his battery, changed the level on some games and Tigger fears that Eeyore looked at Tigger's text messages to his girlfriend.

    I'm beyond aggravated that they would violate his privacy like that, mess with the ONE thing that everyone knows is sacred to him, and just the outright selfishness of it.

    Tigger is scaring me since he was yelling, cursing, and clearly at the edge of control. He fake hit them and punched his own seat once. Lots of "I want to die now." comments. Since I started typing this, the car is now silent. I can hear him sniffling but I know if I look at him, he will meltdown again.

    I'm glad that he was able to pull himself under control but, wow, his anger can still go through the roof. He hasn't been that mad in over two years. I've got his iPod plugged into the car charger so that problem was taken care of, but I don't know how to fix the very hurt feelings. I think he is especially hurt because yesterday, he used all of his tickets at school to buy Piglet a gift, rushed home wrapped it, wrote her a beautiful card and hid it on her bed.

    Eeyore is just an egocentric brat. And while I know the Piglet (not medicated for the drive) didn't think that by helping Eeyore, she'd be hurting Tigger but Tigger just sees the two of them gaining up on him.

  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Aw, poor Tigger. That kind of betrayal can be soooo hard. Yea, the other two would be kissing Tigger's feet for a while to make up for this one, Know what I mean?? Too bad there isn't a "rewind" button that can be pushed. I really hope he's able to keep the anger from taking over total control. Maybe the other two are as scared as you are? That might make more of an impact.
  3. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    We made it to the hotel. Tigger refused to get out of the van. I made the other two do all of the unloading and write him sorry notes. He did read them and came into the hotel room. He is now nonverbal, but has started to text me.

    I think he scared himself with how angry he got.
  4. Anxworrier

    Anxworrier New Member

    I'm sorry you had such a rough drive! Your tigger and my difficult child are similar and close in age, I know how it feels. And while his emotions are all over the map, you are supposed to keep calm while your own feelings are hard to manage! At least that is what I struggle with. Hopefully things will be calmer in the morning. What kind of trip are you on?
  5. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Not sure if it will impact Eyeore or not, but it "should" be lesson for Piglet.
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    You might consider asking Tigger what sort of consequences he thinks Piglet and Eeyore should have? This might be a coping tool that he could use once the intiial rage passes. Thinking through what would be a fit consequence and feeling as though you are listining to his input might be helpful.

    I would also put a set consequence into place for messing with one super important item of each child. My kids have always had one item that NO ONE messes with, takes away, uses to tease them. It is not taken away as a punishment for ANYTHING, EVER. Wiz tried it one time with J's blankie and thank you's blanket. He was truly frightened of how angry I got with him, and how his siblings looked and acted toward him. thank you was about 3 and he was NEVER a biter or growler or angry kid - he was the sweetest, most sharing kid I have ever seen. But for abut a week he would growl at Wiz if Wiz got within a few feet of thank you's blanket. If Wiz touched it, thank you bit him. Hard. Even more alarming to Wiz was that I refused to say anything to thank you about it, or to let husband punish him or scold him for either the growling or biting. This was considered a SACRED item in our home, one that not even husband or I would take away for ANYTHING other than to wash it. even that was done when thank you was at daycare or running an errand wtih one of us. It was perfectly reasonable for thank you to want to protect it that way. Esp because Wiz didn't just take it, he hid if for two days!

    I hope that this can be worked through without ruining your entire trip. I am proud of Tigger for not hurting anyone though he clearly wanted to. Who wouldn't after being violated that way??? Maybe this will be a lesson for Piglet about hacking people's passwords??