Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
So, Do I Go Against Everything I Believe....
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 132213" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Daisy, Daisy, Daisy,,,</p><p></p><p>Hands cup of coffee with no fat creamer, Splenda and a wedge of fruit - </p><p></p><p>You know - I am finding it incredibly hard to NOT help difficult child and the kicker here is - he IS trying. Honestly this last little stay has been the nicest he's ever been despite some blow ups about things in a month I think there's been 3 which is down from 3 a day - so I see that as progress. (twisted logic maybe) but....I don't know if I would be the best to advise you about Nicole because when Dude was looking at staying in jail until his court date - we bailed him out, when he was looking at VOP - WE paid his fines. And even though he was a jerk the day after his fines were paid - we are seeing a side of Dude that is appreciative and empathetic. We were told he has little /no empathy. </p><p></p><p>The reason we bailed him out is because of the lies the group home told us about their level of care. The reason we paid his fines is because he truly isn't able to comprehend what people said about how he has to pay. It was like - Gosh do we do this again - or do we let him take his lumps and end up paying MORE later - because we're all he has and our logic was - if we let him go to jail - he'll stay there until he's 23 and not be able to try and get a job, try to make is work, or get an education. He'd also in our opinion come out worse than when he went in....and what would he have to look forward to? Being a thug. So we bit the bullet once again and crossed our own line - helping Dude, but... we have seen signs of improvement and he did work his total kiester off around the yard like a dog. </p><p></p><p>I wish I had an answer for you -like Well if you don't pay for it - Nicole will get angry enough with boyfriend to make HIM and HIS parents pay for it. That's kinda what went through my mind when I first thought of it. Because I think N and boyfriend both knew you would bail her out if the money was spent. If she was worried about how to pay for it - she should have handed it to you or gotten an account with-o boyfriend. I would wonder why she wants anything to do with a boy who spends HER college money and doesn't care to replace it when SHE is OBVIOUSLY trying to better herself. - That's not love - that is being used. (hand goes up like stop sign to Nicole because she can just talk to my hand - she IS being used) lover or not - he doesn't have HER best interest at heart. He's a selfish young man. </p><p></p><p>And with husband - OHHhhhhhhhhhhhhh Well let me tell you about taking taxes from a state return. They CAN take a portion. BUT if you know the amount of the refund and both your social security numbers - you can call MO and find out when the refund is coming, if any or all of it (which they can take a portion if necessary) is going to be returned or not to you. I got a letter though. The state is taking like $38.00 for an old hospital bill?? WHAT? So....I get $38.00 less - I called the hospital and yes - they swear on a stack of pancakes they sent me a bill. (Whatever - I had medicaid for that time) so....pft. But if a state intends on taking ANY part of your refund they HAVE to send you a letter. So ask hubby to produce the letter or call the state of MO and ask them for a copy of the letter via email. But you can bet after what I went through in MY life with my x </p><p>(took refunds for years and signed my name for the refund checks) and left ME with a $40,000.00 bill - I call the IRS and the state. TODAY. I've never heard of a state taking refund for medicaid.....odd. But checkable. And verifiable. </p><p></p><p>I think maybe with Nicole - I'd let her sweat it out - but have the money put back and wait till the last moment - so that she really gets the notion that boyfriend better cough up some dough - QUICK - but let them both sweat a little. (or a lot depending on Nicole's mood) lol. </p><p></p><p>Sorry I'm not much more help - </p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 132213, member: 4964"] Daisy, Daisy, Daisy,,, Hands cup of coffee with no fat creamer, Splenda and a wedge of fruit - You know - I am finding it incredibly hard to NOT help difficult child and the kicker here is - he IS trying. Honestly this last little stay has been the nicest he's ever been despite some blow ups about things in a month I think there's been 3 which is down from 3 a day - so I see that as progress. (twisted logic maybe) but....I don't know if I would be the best to advise you about Nicole because when Dude was looking at staying in jail until his court date - we bailed him out, when he was looking at VOP - WE paid his fines. And even though he was a jerk the day after his fines were paid - we are seeing a side of Dude that is appreciative and empathetic. We were told he has little /no empathy. The reason we bailed him out is because of the lies the group home told us about their level of care. The reason we paid his fines is because he truly isn't able to comprehend what people said about how he has to pay. It was like - Gosh do we do this again - or do we let him take his lumps and end up paying MORE later - because we're all he has and our logic was - if we let him go to jail - he'll stay there until he's 23 and not be able to try and get a job, try to make is work, or get an education. He'd also in our opinion come out worse than when he went in....and what would he have to look forward to? Being a thug. So we bit the bullet once again and crossed our own line - helping Dude, but... we have seen signs of improvement and he did work his total kiester off around the yard like a dog. I wish I had an answer for you -like Well if you don't pay for it - Nicole will get angry enough with boyfriend to make HIM and HIS parents pay for it. That's kinda what went through my mind when I first thought of it. Because I think N and boyfriend both knew you would bail her out if the money was spent. If she was worried about how to pay for it - she should have handed it to you or gotten an account with-o boyfriend. I would wonder why she wants anything to do with a boy who spends HER college money and doesn't care to replace it when SHE is OBVIOUSLY trying to better herself. - That's not love - that is being used. (hand goes up like stop sign to Nicole because she can just talk to my hand - she IS being used) lover or not - he doesn't have HER best interest at heart. He's a selfish young man. And with husband - OHHhhhhhhhhhhhhh Well let me tell you about taking taxes from a state return. They CAN take a portion. BUT if you know the amount of the refund and both your social security numbers - you can call MO and find out when the refund is coming, if any or all of it (which they can take a portion if necessary) is going to be returned or not to you. I got a letter though. The state is taking like $38.00 for an old hospital bill?? WHAT? So....I get $38.00 less - I called the hospital and yes - they swear on a stack of pancakes they sent me a bill. (Whatever - I had medicaid for that time) so....pft. But if a state intends on taking ANY part of your refund they HAVE to send you a letter. So ask hubby to produce the letter or call the state of MO and ask them for a copy of the letter via email. But you can bet after what I went through in MY life with my x (took refunds for years and signed my name for the refund checks) and left ME with a $40,000.00 bill - I call the IRS and the state. TODAY. I've never heard of a state taking refund for medicaid.....odd. But checkable. And verifiable. I think maybe with Nicole - I'd let her sweat it out - but have the money put back and wait till the last moment - so that she really gets the notion that boyfriend better cough up some dough - QUICK - but let them both sweat a little. (or a lot depending on Nicole's mood) lol. Sorry I'm not much more help - Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
So, Do I Go Against Everything I Believe....
Top