I let difficult child drive?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Kjs, May 25, 2011.

  1. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    Since difficult child totaled his car, I have been so terrified. He is asking to use husband's car. It is an older car and only has liability on it and if something happens husband has nothing to get to work.

    I literally have panic attacks if he takes the car anywhere. I was always worried, but since I know how bad his car was and how we were told his seatbelt kept him from being thrown through the window....I am SO scared.

    He has been staying after school all week to get work done. He texted me and asked if he can PLEASE use dad's car to take his new girlfriend out for food.

    I am so terrified. I have not answered.

    He has taken it twice and strict rules. He has followed those rules. Not even one minute late. Actually has been early. But, I am terrified.

    What to do???
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Not an easy thing... If your difficult child were Onyxx, it would be $%^& NO!

    But I can't say... I know you're terrified, but... If he's followed those strict rules... Maybe.

    I can't make the decision for you... HUGS though!
  3. aeroeng

    aeroeng Mom of Three

    I am thankful for you that difficult child did not get hurt.

    If anyone difficult child or not totaled their car you should not feel guilty about not letting them drive a car that you and your family depend on to survive. Particularly for a date. They can take a bus or ride a bike. On the other side I know some perfectly good drivers who were involved in accidents, that I would trust.

    My difficult child is only 15 and counting the days until he can get a learner's permit. But as a passenger he is contently yelling and telling me to be more aggressive when I am driving him somewhere. I have already told husband that if difficult child drives like he tells me to drive then there is no way I will let him drive any of our cars. I guess I will need to give him a chance to show me how he is driving. Just encase he is just all mouth. He really is improving and doing well at school. But still the car can be deadly.

    So the short of it is, I agree with you that it is a very scarey place to be in. That there are good reasons to go ether way. If you let him drive we will hold our breaths with you. But, if you chose not to let him drive, don't feel bad about it.
  4. Peace Please

    Peace Please New Member

    I guess I have a more black and white personality or something, but if it was me, I would be saying NO WAY!! Your husband relies on his car to get back and forth to work. Work is WAY more important than a date. As Aero said, I would tell him to take the bus. He still gets to take his girlfriend out to eat and you won't need to worry about him wrecking the car.
  5. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    I personally would say no and feel no qualms about it, as others have said.
    You will have to take the decision that seems right to you...
  6. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    How long has it been since his accident? I think I'd insist on a cooling-off period... maybe 6 months? It's inconvenient for him, he did total the car and you shouldn't be expected to risk another mishap like that. Life's full of hard lessons :(