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So excited to have found somewhere to vent.....
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<blockquote data-quote="Bunny" data-source="post: 488218"><p>Welcome to the board. You will find support and advice here that you will not be able to fine anywhere else. All of the parents here have "been there". e get it.</p><p></p><p>I don't know alot about adopted children, but it sounds like her childhood was not what we could consider "normal". She was given up by her birth mother, was raised by a foster mother, who adopted her and eventually gave up on her. So, she's known two mother who basically dumped her because they would not or could not care for her. That's something that most kids don't go through. At least none of the kids that I know, anyway.</p><p></p><p>In some ways your difficult child is like my difficult child. Mine does not pull nearly as much on my husband as he does with me. I think alot of it has to do with the fact that I am the primary caregiver. I'm a stay at home mom and husband works, sometimes really long hours. If he's angry or annoyed about something, I'm the only one that he can target (he targets his younger brother, too). No one here has recommended "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. I would get that book and give it a read. I realize that with nursing school it's probably hard to find time to read things other than your nursing books, but I would try to get this one in. There are alot of good ideas and suggestions in there that may help you.</p><p></p><p>As for your mother in law, I have nothing good to say. For her to suggest that you give your daughter up for adoption again is hurtful to you, and would competely wreck your daughter. That would be yet another mother who gave up and threw her back into the system and it would catastrophic for her. mother in law has no clue what it's like to have to mother a difficult child and until she has walked a mile in your shoes she needs to keep her opinions to herself.</p><p></p><p>Is there any way that difficult child could go and live with your husband? Do the kids get to see their father on the weekends, or does he stay where he is when he's got some days off. I think that the kids need their father, even if it's just for a few days a month. difficult child could look at his leaving for his new job and just another person who walked away from her because they didn't want to care for her.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Bunny, post: 488218"] Welcome to the board. You will find support and advice here that you will not be able to fine anywhere else. All of the parents here have "been there". e get it. I don't know alot about adopted children, but it sounds like her childhood was not what we could consider "normal". She was given up by her birth mother, was raised by a foster mother, who adopted her and eventually gave up on her. So, she's known two mother who basically dumped her because they would not or could not care for her. That's something that most kids don't go through. At least none of the kids that I know, anyway. In some ways your difficult child is like my difficult child. Mine does not pull nearly as much on my husband as he does with me. I think alot of it has to do with the fact that I am the primary caregiver. I'm a stay at home mom and husband works, sometimes really long hours. If he's angry or annoyed about something, I'm the only one that he can target (he targets his younger brother, too). No one here has recommended "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. I would get that book and give it a read. I realize that with nursing school it's probably hard to find time to read things other than your nursing books, but I would try to get this one in. There are alot of good ideas and suggestions in there that may help you. As for your mother in law, I have nothing good to say. For her to suggest that you give your daughter up for adoption again is hurtful to you, and would competely wreck your daughter. That would be yet another mother who gave up and threw her back into the system and it would catastrophic for her. mother in law has no clue what it's like to have to mother a difficult child and until she has walked a mile in your shoes she needs to keep her opinions to herself. Is there any way that difficult child could go and live with your husband? Do the kids get to see their father on the weekends, or does he stay where he is when he's got some days off. I think that the kids need their father, even if it's just for a few days a month. difficult child could look at his leaving for his new job and just another person who walked away from her because they didn't want to care for her. [/QUOTE]
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