Oh my, I have been stressed out and am technically friendless. My husband isn't interested in hearing about my everyday struggles with my difficult child (which by the way, what exactly does that stand for?) so I am glad to found a site where others can relate but I can remain anonymous. In May my husband found a job 6 hours away and because I was in nursing school (and had worked so hard to get in) we decided I would stay back until I finish and we would let the children do another year at their current school. We were fortunate enough to have my mother in law move in with us to help us. My husband and our difficult child were much closer than she was with me. She is manipulative, lies, steals and I didn't think it was cute (not that the husband did but he didn't see as much of it as I did). As soon as he left, the monsterness came out even more. Typical ODD stuff, refusing to do simple things asked, lying, stealing, yelling "I don't care" when I try implement punishments. Almost a straight A student at school but this semester she began stealing at school and got caught 3 times. Stealing simple things such as switching out sandwiches from a lunch box, stealing a trinket from a teachers' treasure box. I am 100% convinced it was because she knew that I would be the one called and I would have to pick her up. Just another way to get at me. I set up an "intervention" with the school resource officer and I think that worked. It wasn't that she was scared of jail but when they told her that she would be expelled if she continued this behavior, I explained to her that the alternative school is a one room shack with K-5 graders. They don't break for PE, art, music, non of that stuff she enjoys so much. Not sure if it was 100% true but wanted to make it seem as terrible as it could be. That seemed to keep her from touching other peoples property. That and the principal requires that I escort her to the office each morning where a teacher will come and pick her up once the bell rings. So, I think there have been limited opportunities for her thievery but also, I think my description of the alternative school did it too. Now I am having it out with my mother in law. She defends the difficult child to no end. About two weeks ago she called my husband "on me" and told him that we need to put our difficult child back up for adoption because I don't provide a loving home. She doesn't know that I know but I am so hurt over it. How could she say that and doesn't she know the ramifications would be terrible. Our difficult child is on her second adoption. The first one failed because the adoptive mother couldn't handle her anymore, she was diagnosed with some debilitating disease but the difficult child behaviors were atrocious. difficult child used to run from her house, kick her, scream her head off. Although her behavior has been terrible, she has never ran away or even looked like she was going to raise a hand to me or my husband. The mother in law isn't looking at the big picture. My feelings are so hurt still, I can't seem to get past it. I finally found what has worked as far as what our difficult child values. We tried sentences, spankings, (I even slapped her twice), grounding for eternity, pulling from soccer team, taken everything out of her room. I even gave all of her toys away to the goodwill. What the child hates the most is going to bed early, specifically without dinner. After 2.5 years I finally figured this one out. (by the way, she doesn't pull half the stuff she pulls with me, with my husband). ....oh my, didn't realize my post was so long. Much more to tell but wanted to share my joy of finding somewhere where support can be had. Thank you in advance.