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<blockquote data-quote="PorcupineWhisperer" data-source="post: 286482" data-attributes="member: 62"><p>As a therapist, I have talked to many a difficult child about the facts of life. Most of my discussions have been with early teens (usually guys) at the request of their moms. I do get pretty graphic and always let the moms know in advance what I will cover and ask if there are any particular areas that they want me to address. </p><p></p><p>I first try to find out what the kid already knows about the topic. Typically, many have already seen some pretty graphic stuff on the internet or have at least seen a Playboy. I always warn the guys that they should be careful on the internet, because it's not the same as looking at Playboy (or some similar publication). In a magazine they are pretty limited to what's on the pages, where with the internet, one link takes you to another and pretty soon you are dealing with some pretty advanced stuff.</p><p></p><p>I typically will bring a condom to the session. Most boys can identify the foil package, but many have never seen (or touched) an actual condom. Before I have them open the package, I will have them look at the date and talk about the implications of using a condom that's past its prime. When they open the package and take the condom out, there is typically a resounding 'Eeeeewwwwww, that's GROSS!!!' <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> . I conclude that portion of the talk by showing how to put on a condom by applying it to my first two fingers. </p><p></p><p>I typically round things up by asking if there are any questions. Usually there are questions about 'mechanics'. Some have questions about things they've seen on the internet. One bipolar young man (who was about 14) wanted to know "What's the difference between a stripper and a prostitute?'</p><p></p><p>I would offer one word of caution. I would really try to gauge the difficult child's comfort level in discussing this subject before the conversation begins. I think of one mom who found a jar of petroleum jelly in her adolescent sons bedroom and began questioning him about it. He made up a story about a rash and quickly attempted to change the subject. Mom (having a medical background) began asking more questions to determine if there was a medical issue. Because difficult child couldn't think of any plausible answers to her questions, he finally broke down and told her what he had been using it for. She tried to be supportive and began talking with him about it and reassured him that it was a normal thing that all boys do. difficult child later said that he was totally embarrassed talking about that topic with his mom and that he couldn't sleep the rest of the night.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="PorcupineWhisperer, post: 286482, member: 62"] As a therapist, I have talked to many a difficult child about the facts of life. Most of my discussions have been with early teens (usually guys) at the request of their moms. I do get pretty graphic and always let the moms know in advance what I will cover and ask if there are any particular areas that they want me to address. I first try to find out what the kid already knows about the topic. Typically, many have already seen some pretty graphic stuff on the internet or have at least seen a Playboy. I always warn the guys that they should be careful on the internet, because it's not the same as looking at Playboy (or some similar publication). In a magazine they are pretty limited to what's on the pages, where with the internet, one link takes you to another and pretty soon you are dealing with some pretty advanced stuff. I typically will bring a condom to the session. Most boys can identify the foil package, but many have never seen (or touched) an actual condom. Before I have them open the package, I will have them look at the date and talk about the implications of using a condom that's past its prime. When they open the package and take the condom out, there is typically a resounding 'Eeeeewwwwww, that's GROSS!!!' :) . I conclude that portion of the talk by showing how to put on a condom by applying it to my first two fingers. I typically round things up by asking if there are any questions. Usually there are questions about 'mechanics'. Some have questions about things they've seen on the internet. One bipolar young man (who was about 14) wanted to know "What's the difference between a stripper and a prostitute?' I would offer one word of caution. I would really try to gauge the difficult child's comfort level in discussing this subject before the conversation begins. I think of one mom who found a jar of petroleum jelly in her adolescent sons bedroom and began questioning him about it. He made up a story about a rash and quickly attempted to change the subject. Mom (having a medical background) began asking more questions to determine if there was a medical issue. Because difficult child couldn't think of any plausible answers to her questions, he finally broke down and told her what he had been using it for. She tried to be supportive and began talking with him about it and reassured him that it was a normal thing that all boys do. difficult child later said that he was totally embarrassed talking about that topic with his mom and that he couldn't sleep the rest of the night. [/QUOTE]
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