So I layed down to take a nap...

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by lovemysons, Nov 10, 2008.

  1. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    and oldest difficult child comes in and tells me that "normal people" do not take naps in the middle of the day. I quickly replied that I "Put in MY YEARS!" He said, ya but normal "keep going".

    This is what I get for being Bipolar and being properly medicated now. I'm not in "go go manic mode" anymore when my medications are working so it means I don't run the race everyday anymore.

    Uhg, it is just so frustrating.
    And...when I came downstairs (no longer napping) and tried to explain to oldest difficult child how much Better I feel when I'm not manic he just told me that he "likes extreme feelings" etc.

    Even husband was asking me when I was going to do some more work on his business today. He does understand though that it's better that I'm not manic. I just wish I didn't let people down around me. husband says I'm in "early retirement". lol

    Tammy...NOT enjoying being Bipolar today.
  2. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    :)> That is a big fat raspberry for oldest and husband. What was oldest doing home from work in the middle of the day??? Explain the ideas of boundaries to him AGAIN. I could think a few choice comments for him---like normal 31 year old women don't go after 20 somethings who are trying to get their lives together after some really dumb choices!!!!
    But, I wouldn't actually say it because that would be crossing boundaries!
  3. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    I'm afraid you have the most consistently, unthoughtful people in your home. difficult child 1 discusses normal in regards to you?!!!!! Tell him normal doesn't begin to explain or define difficult child 1's behavior, difficult child's 2's behavior and at times husband's behavior?????
    I am amazed how intolerant those men are to you while demanding your undying love and attention and virtual servitude. You did your time. Tell difficult child 1 that when he wants to discuss normal he will have to actually act normal and make choices that may be loosely interpreted as normal. Sheesh.

    Tomorrow put in ear plugs and lock the bedroom door.
  4. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    There is no such thing as normal- especially in our house or any house with a difficult child. I would have really had to bit my tongue to keep from saying something I'd later regret on that one.
  5. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    I take naps in the afternoon sometimes too. I'd have told him that if he was a normal son, he wouldn't have been so darn rude and nasty, among other things. I agree with Fran.... he's got some nerve telling you what's normal.
  6. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Normal is a setting on a washing machine, or a statement made by someone who is NOT!!! fwiw, I cannot stand it when husband is in hypo or manic phase, he drives me crazy. He will not sit still, has to go go go gogogogogogog. It is awful. His medications still aren't right, so he is a little hypo now. I just let it go, if I bring it up he gets mad, so as long as he is hurting no one I have learned to ignore him. It is frustrating when he is sick or recovering from a procedure and cannot sit still.
  7. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    One more thing....(sorry, but that just has me steamed right now)......
    Don't let him make you feel bad for taking care of yourself. Don't let him make you feel bad for having bipolar or being sick.

    Tell him that I said that he can go.....where I can't say where I think he can go, cause I'll get sensored and then I'll have to make myself go to Star's corner. Gee, I'm ticked, now!
  8. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    What is normal, anyway?

    I'm sorry - that wasn't right. Hugs~
  9. Mayapple5

    Mayapple5 New Member

    I agree, where does he get off?

    See my age? 56. I take naps and I guess you could say I'm what they call a NT. I'm not on the Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) scale, or have any labels, I have high blood pressure, am Type 2 diabetic, high cholesterol, diagnosis'd with diverticulitis recently (fine Christmas I'll have! :() BUT I get tired. I don't sleep well, I have a husband who snores from 1:30 am until about 4:00 am and heats up the bed like an oven. Not to mention the dog who sleeps in the bedroom and snores also and bundles up in his blankets and sweats like a pig then smells the whole room up as if it doesn't already smell! husband is laying there sweating with three blankets on. I have hardly a sheet on AND he turns up the electric heater in the room!! I can't sleep so I go to the couch and try to catch about 2 hours of sleep, that is if my daughter turns the lights off when she gets home at 3:00 am. I get up at 5:00 am. difficult child 2 gets up at 7:00 for school I get her on the bus at 8 and I clean house, do some laundry, check email and try to do some scrap booking and ready for difficult child 2 to get home at 11:00.

    I didn't mean to go on about my day but it is full and by 2:00 when difficult child 2 lays down for a nap I'm sooo ready! for an hour of my own!

    Anyone who has a difficult child needs special needs themselves. Take time out and take care of themselves. Stop trying to do it all!
  10. Jena

    Jena New Member


    so you've gotten everyone else's thoughts :)

    All i'm giong to say is it's time to take care of you, plain and simple. Whoever isn't adjusting to that too well can just go figure out how to adapt on their own.
  11. muttmeister

    muttmeister Well-Known Member

    I agree that they are being incredibly rude and that you need to make it clear that you are going to take care of yourself and they can like it or lump it BUT I did get a small chuckle as I thought about this. Both of my difficult children used to find great fault with a lot of things I did but neither one of them ever suggested that what I was doing wasn't normal because I never claimed to be normal in the first place; in fact, I've rather reveled in the fact that I'm not. Tell them to be normal is to be boring and they should get a life.
  12. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    You don't owe anyone any explanation. If you want to take a nap in the middle of the day - bipolar or not - that's your prerogative. End of discussion. If difficult child 1 has a problem with it, I'm sure he knows where the door is.

    Early retirement? Not when you have two *grown* difficult child's living at home still behaving as children and treating you like ****. I'd consider locking myself in my room anytime I was home.
  13. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It


    I agree with Fran. The difficult children and husband have great demands on what you should do and think, but very little clue about how tolerant you are of them and their demands and oddities. I am so sorry they make you feel bad. You are taking care of yourself, and THAT needs to be a higher priority than either of the two young men living in your home making demands about what YOU ought to do. How much energy does their drama cost you? And what about all the things you do at all hours to take care of them and their friends, kid, girlfriend, etc....

    Any of the males in your life has a lot of nerve talking about normal. You have gone on such a high speed for so many years, it is no wonder your body wants naps now. It needs time to recharge from all the years you put into dealing with the boys!

    Many many hugs,

  14. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Tammy, I agree the others that this was totally rude of him to do. You know that, it is why you posted it. I would be hurt and furious, too.

    What I would like to make you aware of do NOT have to explain ANYTHING you do to your son. EVER. Period. So for you to feel the need to get up and even speak to him is....well, it was not necessary. You should have rolled over with a smile on your face because you were doing something for you. Finally.

  15. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    You know what else??! Normal 21-year old males DO NOT live with their mothers. Neener, Neener!!

    Take care of You, LMS. I am proud of you!!

  16. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    PS - I really meant no offense to any 21-yr olds who DO live with their moms...Only to LMS' son!!

  17. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Argh!!! I think your husband and sons win the award for the most selfish, rude, arrogant, egotistical BRATS I have ever heard of. Ever considered just running away and never coming back? They don't deserve you. Not even for one dang second.

    It has been proven time and again that the healthiest people sleep about 8 hours and take a short nap during the day. It does wonders for the mind and body. It has nothing to do with being BiPolar (BP). It has to do with a person doing what is best for its body.

    What would happen if you went on strike -- quit being wife and mother and just did what you wanted for a week or two? No cooking, no housecleaning, no helping with the office, no nothing except for you? It might be interesting to see what the Brats in your life did then.

    I'm sorry they are so short on understanding. You deserve better.
  18. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Aww, what a RELIEF to come here and get such loving, understanding, emotionally caring support. I feel like you all, one at a time, tucked me in while I layed my weary head down for a nap. Thank You.

    I don't know how/when oldest difficult child will ever to get to the point where he recoginises that my unconditional love and goodness should be appreciated and not just taken for granted.

    I could have gone down the list of all the years and ways that I was there for him...the rehab, hospitalisations, councelors, courts, juvenille and then adult jail and prison...Specifically the "prison" time just about cost me everything. It was during the first year of his prison time that I finally lost my mind in psychosis. He did not witness it though, nor was he there when I had extreme panic attacks over his situation and the nightmare it was alone worrying myself sick about what he was exposed to while in prison.

    I think if you were to ask him about my love and time etc, he would probibly tell you that, "Well, no one made her, I never asked her to"...etc. I honestly think if he were to fully be able to absorb my sacrifices for him over the years that he would be hit heavy with personal guilt...and I don't think he can accept "his part" in the hardship I endured for him.

    I am able to say that I have a VERY thoughtful, caring, loving easy child. She is anyone's dearest friend and a caregiver in her own right. I only hope she will not end up in a family that takes "her best" for granted as does mine.

    Maybe someday when/if oldest difficult child has his own child to pain over, maybe then he will realize alittle of what his mamma went through to express her love, I don't know.

    I would have to say that most of our difficult child's are fairly self centered and and can't fully grasp the endless amounts of love that our hearts and minds have poured out for their care.

    Thank you again for showing me such loving support and acknowledging my years/time put in. And really for making it easier for me to lay my head down without explaination, smile.

    Hugs and love...yall are the sweetest.
  19. ML

    ML Guest

    I'm glad you are finally taking care of yourself. They will just have to get used to it. Big hugs xoxo ML