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Parent Emeritus
So, I talked to her...
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 139142"><p>L's behavior sounds much more like a teenager than a young adult. </p><p></p><p>Which reminded me of the one time my mom and I saw a therapist together. It wasn't for us. It was easy child's therapist because...well, that's another story...but she was there to hear from the therapist first hand what was going on with easy child. I noticed that the therapist seemed a bit stunned at the session. At the next session, he told me that it was like watching a mother and her teenage daughter. Which, I found very validating because she did still treat me like a teenager. What I didn't realize was that with my mother I was still *acting* like a teenager. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/bag.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":bag:" title="bag :bag:" data-shortname=":bag:" /></p><p></p><p>I'm not at all implying that you treat her like a child. I just wonder if her relationship with you has gotten stuck at that point and you calling her on her behavior is pushing it towards a more adult relationship and she's resisting?</p><p></p><p>Just a thought. Might be out there. It just seems like she really didn't want the status quo to change. Ultimately, you were able to turn things around and come to an agreement. Here's to hoping that next time it's not so emotionally exhausting.</p><p></p><p>It took a long, long time and some very firm boundaries for my relationship with my mom to get to where it is today. Which is odd because we've always been close. But, those lines were always getting blurred. It was emotionally draining, too. I think mother-daughter relationships are probably the toughest relationships.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 139142"] L's behavior sounds much more like a teenager than a young adult. Which reminded me of the one time my mom and I saw a therapist together. It wasn't for us. It was easy child's therapist because...well, that's another story...but she was there to hear from the therapist first hand what was going on with easy child. I noticed that the therapist seemed a bit stunned at the session. At the next session, he told me that it was like watching a mother and her teenage daughter. Which, I found very validating because she did still treat me like a teenager. What I didn't realize was that with my mother I was still *acting* like a teenager. :bag: I'm not at all implying that you treat her like a child. I just wonder if her relationship with you has gotten stuck at that point and you calling her on her behavior is pushing it towards a more adult relationship and she's resisting? Just a thought. Might be out there. It just seems like she really didn't want the status quo to change. Ultimately, you were able to turn things around and come to an agreement. Here's to hoping that next time it's not so emotionally exhausting. It took a long, long time and some very firm boundaries for my relationship with my mom to get to where it is today. Which is odd because we've always been close. But, those lines were always getting blurred. It was emotionally draining, too. I think mother-daughter relationships are probably the toughest relationships. [/QUOTE]
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So, I talked to her...
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