I told L this evening "It wasn't ok for you to bring your boss to husband's birthday dinner without asking us or letting us know." Debate, debate, debate, debate in reply. "L, the point is, this is the way I feel about it, and you need to know that you didn't deal with it very well. Next time you either need to call me and ask if she can come, or call me and tell me you have other obligations and can't make it." "Maw-aw-om! Why are you always this way?" Drama drama drama. Me telling her that actually, three times lately this has happened, and I've only mentioned it this one time. Two hours of how awful I am to pick on her "all of the time!" Two hours of "No, it's my house and I get to say what I don't like, and I most often let it go." No, you are always this way!" Eventually she got around to "I'm sorry." with an explanation. There's always an explanation. She's screaming at me and I hung up on her twice. I got her talked down a couple of times, and explained to her that it wasn't ok to tell me "You always do this you never let anything go" when two out of three times lately (and a lot more) I don't. I hung up on her twice for screaming at me. Then when I told her that I would try to approach her more gently when she was doing something that I found to be rude because it upsets her, and that all I can do is change my self, and that she upsets me when she pulls the "You always overreact, you always hold a grudge, you always act that way, she told me to F off, she had enough and she wasn't done with this. I take a full xanax (I usually only take .5) and a sleeping pill. She calls back a few moment later and wants to make her point that I should be nicer if I have a problem with her. I promise her I will try, as we can't live in the past, only in the now and in the future, to approach her more gently. That she should understand that I know she will debate everything I say, and that my feelings are debatable with her excuses. Call first, deal with your own problems. By the same token she needs to back off the "You always jump all over me everytime you think I did something you don't like something I do. You dwell on everything negative." It's not fair and it's not true and she needs to look at the one thing I may of brought up, because it stands on it's own. It's not about me, it's about her. And she can change if she wants to, and she has to if she doesn't want me to cut to the chase when I finally get around to laying down the line about something. "OK " "But you need to know..." No, L, you need to know that we can't do anything about the past, we can only live in the now, and should the situation come up again we both can try to not do the things that push the other's buttons. "Ok". "I love you dear. I think we're done now." I love you too. But does husband love me? husband (we were on speaker phone) "I love you." Good night L. But. Alright, goodnight. I'm pretty sure she just wants her I-pod. Wait until she see's it's the cheapest smallest one. Hope she can be grateful... Gggrrr!