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So ready to make a change
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 163726" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>I think that you are on the right track. The people involved do need to know the types of things that he is doing, and I hope that you will include the fear that you feel in your own home. No one should live like that. Where's his dad in this? Has he offered any advice or assistance?</p><p></p><p>What will help you the most is to keep in mind that if you want to make a change in your home, the only one that you can change is you. Your son is way out of control, and he will have to deal with the natural consequences of his actions. In his case that is going to court over the laws he has broken. </p><p></p><p>But in a way, you are out of control, too, in that you are no longer in control of your house. If you want to be in control again, you have to stand up for yourself in what you will and won't allow in your home. I realize that legally he is a minor, but with these types of charges I wouldn't be at all surprised if they remand him to adult court. And even if they don't, the most likely way he will get residential treatment is for you to say "He can't come home."</p><p></p><p>For yourself, to keep your goals in mind, make a list of the things he's broken in your home in the last year, and the trouble he's been in. Make a list of any threatening behaviors or words he has used against you. Then make a list of how it should be. The should be list will probably be short. You should feel safe and comfortable in your own home. You should want to go home at the end of the day. There should be no fighting or stealing in your home.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 163726, member: 99"] I think that you are on the right track. The people involved do need to know the types of things that he is doing, and I hope that you will include the fear that you feel in your own home. No one should live like that. Where's his dad in this? Has he offered any advice or assistance? What will help you the most is to keep in mind that if you want to make a change in your home, the only one that you can change is you. Your son is way out of control, and he will have to deal with the natural consequences of his actions. In his case that is going to court over the laws he has broken. But in a way, you are out of control, too, in that you are no longer in control of your house. If you want to be in control again, you have to stand up for yourself in what you will and won't allow in your home. I realize that legally he is a minor, but with these types of charges I wouldn't be at all surprised if they remand him to adult court. And even if they don't, the most likely way he will get residential treatment is for you to say "He can't come home." For yourself, to keep your goals in mind, make a list of the things he's broken in your home in the last year, and the trouble he's been in. Make a list of any threatening behaviors or words he has used against you. Then make a list of how it should be. The should be list will probably be short. You should feel safe and comfortable in your own home. You should want to go home at the end of the day. There should be no fighting or stealing in your home. [/QUOTE]
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