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so sad, need hugs
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<blockquote data-quote="donna723" data-source="post: 28813" data-attributes="member: 1883"><p>Janet, I am so sorry that you are in such pain. </p><p></p><p>I'm afraid that I have to agree with "the other Janet" on part of it though. That <em>IS</em> what "family" is all about! You help when you're needed and you take care of each other. What if the situation were reversed and it was one of HIS children that needed help? Would he feel differently about it then? If his family hasn't needed his help so far, that's more luck than anything else. </p><p></p><p>I know you're hurting right now and that your heart is broken. But it sounds like you and this man had very different ideas of what "family" should be. Do you just turn your back on your children once they're grown, associate with them only if they are pleasant, make no demands on your time, and you can keep them at arms-length? If he views family as no more than "baggage", then the two of you were very, very far apart on that issue. Sounds to me like what he wanted was just someone to come home to at night to keep him company, someone completely unencumbered, someone with no ties, no commitments - maybe a department store dummy! You deserve much, much better than this! Sending lots of gentle (hugs).</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="donna723, post: 28813, member: 1883"] Janet, I am so sorry that you are in such pain. I'm afraid that I have to agree with "the other Janet" on part of it though. That [i]IS[/i] what "family" is all about! You help when you're needed and you take care of each other. What if the situation were reversed and it was one of HIS children that needed help? Would he feel differently about it then? If his family hasn't needed his help so far, that's more luck than anything else. I know you're hurting right now and that your heart is broken. But it sounds like you and this man had very different ideas of what "family" should be. Do you just turn your back on your children once they're grown, associate with them only if they are pleasant, make no demands on your time, and you can keep them at arms-length? If he views family as no more than "baggage", then the two of you were very, very far apart on that issue. Sounds to me like what he wanted was just someone to come home to at night to keep him company, someone completely unencumbered, someone with no ties, no commitments - maybe a department store dummy! You deserve much, much better than this! Sending lots of gentle (hugs). [/QUOTE]
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