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So they can't pick up the phone
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 94517" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Beth, </p><p></p><p>The fact that you have to have SOMEONE doesn't mean you have to have HIM. Lay the rules out for him </p><p></p><p>1.) A phone call from now on as if he has worked with difficult child's he knows too many disappointments or canceled apointments and difficult child is going to loose interest fast. Once it's gone - the worker can forget it. difficult child's are not very forgiving. </p><p></p><p>2.) You need to know his schedule so you can be there - what days/times/ is he going to pick up your son, work with him when does he intend to leave, take difficult child? </p><p></p><p>3.) ANY communication problems from here on out will be dealt with through his boss. Let him know you called and intend on calling if there are further cancellations</p><p></p><p>4.) Let him know this is a TRIAL basis - you hope it works out, but so far it's not looking very good. If he can mend the fence - good. </p><p></p><p>You really have to let these kids know that you don't just "DIE" everytime they come to see your son because believe me - a lot of them (not all) think "Oh I shall be loved and revered because I am giving the parents a break." I don't know who put that crud in their heads but 3 out of the 4 workers that showed up at our house automatically said "Well I'll be taking him out of your hair for a while." With the first man we asked for someone younger, street, hip, and active. Likes to ride bikes, roller blade etc. They sent out a 450 lb. man and his foster son (who never said a word) and the man kept putting the foster kid down, that all he ever liked to do was watch video games and I said "Well how often do you get out and offer to go ride a bike with him?" This was after 30 straight minutes of "ME ME , and have I told you about ME?" argh. The foster kid actually cracked a smile but kept his head down. And then I asked him how long he'd been taking care of kids - all his life was his response. Then he said that my son (age 12/13) was "pretty" and THAT was it. difficult child didn't want a thing to do with him after that AND he called him "honey" "Come here honey - boy you're pretty". I said at that point "Well this interview is over." or something close to that. </p><p></p><p>The man could NOT believe that he did NOT get the job. When he called me and asked why - I said "DO you really want to know?" and he said "Yes, I do." SO I let him have my entire opinion of how he treated his son, how he treated himself, how he behaved towards a child that had been molested, and the fact that I never heard his son utter 2 words even when the questions I asked were directed at him only - Others have found him good and had success . Not us. </p><p></p><p>So keep looking or like I said call his boss. Tell them this isn't a good match, you really don't have to explain yourself, but if hubby's senses are tingling - something is a miss there. Dads know these things. </p><p></p><p>My .73 cents</p><p>Hugs</p><p>STar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 94517, member: 4964"] Beth, The fact that you have to have SOMEONE doesn't mean you have to have HIM. Lay the rules out for him 1.) A phone call from now on as if he has worked with difficult child's he knows too many disappointments or canceled apointments and difficult child is going to loose interest fast. Once it's gone - the worker can forget it. difficult child's are not very forgiving. 2.) You need to know his schedule so you can be there - what days/times/ is he going to pick up your son, work with him when does he intend to leave, take difficult child? 3.) ANY communication problems from here on out will be dealt with through his boss. Let him know you called and intend on calling if there are further cancellations 4.) Let him know this is a TRIAL basis - you hope it works out, but so far it's not looking very good. If he can mend the fence - good. You really have to let these kids know that you don't just "DIE" everytime they come to see your son because believe me - a lot of them (not all) think "Oh I shall be loved and revered because I am giving the parents a break." I don't know who put that crud in their heads but 3 out of the 4 workers that showed up at our house automatically said "Well I'll be taking him out of your hair for a while." With the first man we asked for someone younger, street, hip, and active. Likes to ride bikes, roller blade etc. They sent out a 450 lb. man and his foster son (who never said a word) and the man kept putting the foster kid down, that all he ever liked to do was watch video games and I said "Well how often do you get out and offer to go ride a bike with him?" This was after 30 straight minutes of "ME ME , and have I told you about ME?" argh. The foster kid actually cracked a smile but kept his head down. And then I asked him how long he'd been taking care of kids - all his life was his response. Then he said that my son (age 12/13) was "pretty" and THAT was it. difficult child didn't want a thing to do with him after that AND he called him "honey" "Come here honey - boy you're pretty". I said at that point "Well this interview is over." or something close to that. The man could NOT believe that he did NOT get the job. When he called me and asked why - I said "DO you really want to know?" and he said "Yes, I do." SO I let him have my entire opinion of how he treated his son, how he treated himself, how he behaved towards a child that had been molested, and the fact that I never heard his son utter 2 words even when the questions I asked were directed at him only - Others have found him good and had success . Not us. So keep looking or like I said call his boss. Tell them this isn't a good match, you really don't have to explain yourself, but if hubby's senses are tingling - something is a miss there. Dads know these things. My .73 cents Hugs STar [/QUOTE]
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