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So tired,so sad, and sick of it all
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<blockquote data-quote="Mom1" data-source="post: 639419" data-attributes="member: 18530"><p>MidwestMom: Thank you for the welcome. No C has never been in therapy. When I say that she can't live with us anymore...in my heart of hearts, that isn't true. If she sincerely told me that she wanted to come home--I would be there to help her pack. I would do so knowing full well that the first time I would ask anything of her, question anything she was doing, or suggest anything---I could expect an explosion.</p><p></p><p> There is a pattern with her that I know all too well: She waits until the very last minute to do assignments and then is so incredibly stressed by the pressure that she either doesn't do it, makes an excuse to delay it, or pulls an all nighter and then crashes and lets other things go undone. Meanwhile, she takes her frustration out on me and wastes time doing so. Lather, rinse, and repeat. It worked for her in highschool--(while I warned that this would not work in college, pleaded for her not to wait till the last minute, etc....and I unfortunately am right--its not working in college. </p><p></p><p>What is most frustrating is that on Monday she may be in love with the school and on Thursday she is hating it and wants to come home. I went to college,too and I remember what that first year was like. Some of this is normal growing pains and adjusting to college life after a lot of BIG changes in all of our lives. What I know in my heart is NOT normal, is the nasty name calling and mean things she says. That is what I cannot tolerate anymore--and it has taken a toll on me.</p><p> </p><p> I have told her if you are unhappy you can get in your car and come home right now--no questions asked and that it is not the end of the world. She could take some time off, figure out what she would like to do,etc... And while I say that, I am admitting here that the thought of her coming home fills me with dread. I just want some peace! I have suggested cutting out cheer or sorority--she doesn't want to do that. But if you ask whats going on, whats stressing her out--depending on her mood you may be in for a litany of being sworn at,called names, guilt tripped, hung up on,etc.....and god forbid you should make any suggestion of a way to better handle the situation.</p><p></p><p>I end these conversations finding myself unable to sleep at night. I just want her to be happy and she just doesn't seem equipped at all to handle any sort of stress in a mature way--and I find myself searching my mind to figure out where in the world I went wrong in failing to equip her for life??? We spoiled her...and now what the heck do we do with this beautiful mess we have made???</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mom1, post: 639419, member: 18530"] MidwestMom: Thank you for the welcome. No C has never been in therapy. When I say that she can't live with us anymore...in my heart of hearts, that isn't true. If she sincerely told me that she wanted to come home--I would be there to help her pack. I would do so knowing full well that the first time I would ask anything of her, question anything she was doing, or suggest anything---I could expect an explosion. There is a pattern with her that I know all too well: She waits until the very last minute to do assignments and then is so incredibly stressed by the pressure that she either doesn't do it, makes an excuse to delay it, or pulls an all nighter and then crashes and lets other things go undone. Meanwhile, she takes her frustration out on me and wastes time doing so. Lather, rinse, and repeat. It worked for her in highschool--(while I warned that this would not work in college, pleaded for her not to wait till the last minute, etc....and I unfortunately am right--its not working in college. What is most frustrating is that on Monday she may be in love with the school and on Thursday she is hating it and wants to come home. I went to college,too and I remember what that first year was like. Some of this is normal growing pains and adjusting to college life after a lot of BIG changes in all of our lives. What I know in my heart is NOT normal, is the nasty name calling and mean things she says. That is what I cannot tolerate anymore--and it has taken a toll on me. I have told her if you are unhappy you can get in your car and come home right now--no questions asked and that it is not the end of the world. She could take some time off, figure out what she would like to do,etc... And while I say that, I am admitting here that the thought of her coming home fills me with dread. I just want some peace! I have suggested cutting out cheer or sorority--she doesn't want to do that. But if you ask whats going on, whats stressing her out--depending on her mood you may be in for a litany of being sworn at,called names, guilt tripped, hung up on,etc.....and god forbid you should make any suggestion of a way to better handle the situation. I end these conversations finding myself unable to sleep at night. I just want her to be happy and she just doesn't seem equipped at all to handle any sort of stress in a mature way--and I find myself searching my mind to figure out where in the world I went wrong in failing to equip her for life??? We spoiled her...and now what the heck do we do with this beautiful mess we have made??? [/QUOTE]
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