I stumbled upon these forums in a desperate attempt to make some sense out of what seems like a senseless life that I have found myself leading. My only child,19 year old C has been a bundle of contradictions since she was born. Smart, determined, and so independent at times! She got good grades, was involved in a very intense dance program from the of 7, and we couldn't have been prouder. But she has always been extra sensitive to any kind of perceived criticism--and we struggled to parent her. At 14 it began to crumble. Arguments over anything and everything--verbal abuse, explosive rages over the littlest of things. She could switch her mood in an instant and it was baffling. A best friend moved away and for her--it was the end of the earth. Since the end of that friendship, she has never really had another good friend. Something that I know bothers her greatly. We bent over backwards to make her happy. We spoiled her, made excuses for her, all in an attempt I guess to make it stop. But it didn't stop. Her bad behavior was reserved only for us--she continued to get good grades and participate in all the activities she had before, but she wasn't happy and she wanted us to feel that unhappiness,too. I took her to our family physician who diagnosed her with depression, gave her a prescripton for Zoloft, and sent us on our way. The Zoloft seemed to help, but still we walked on eggshells around her. The attacks lessened--but they still occurred and were always aimed hardest at me--good old Mom. Drugs and alcohol has never been a factor--for her or us. My husband and I have been married for 25 years--we are good people, hard working people. We bought our first home a year after we married and raised our daughter there with all the trappings of the middle class--we centered our world around her when she was born. I was able to stay home with her. Hubby travelled for his job frequently and that was hard on her. They are very close. The discipline has always been left to me--and to be honest, I resented the role of being the "bad guy"--and I still do. My husband and I had many arguments over the years and he just would never back up my discipline--often undermining me by letting her off the hook for any number of things, it was never her fault. I hated the way she would procrastinate on everything: homework, being somewhere on time,etc....and tried to emphasize the importance. I would get mad--holler about it--and it would end with me in an argument with both of them. So in June of this year my father died unexpectedly. In August, my mother died after a long illness. My husband and I were approached to manage the apartment complex they had managed for 20 years. With C going off to college, my husband felt this would be a good opportunity for us--no mortgage, no rent--an opportunity to save for our retirement and to help her through college. So we prepared our home to put it up for sale and moved--while simultaneously moving C to college three hours away. Its been an emotional roller coaster of a year. C was all for us doing this--smart girl knew that we would be able to help her more financially. Unfortunately, she is now using this move as a weapon to guilt with. And the drama continues....texts every other day that she is unhappy, she cant take this, she wants to come home...oh that's right, "I dont even have a home to come to"!! I know she is skipping classes, but she manages to get to cheer practice and mandatory sorority functions just fine--she would be kicked off if she didnt. I believe she is depressed, but she refuses to go in and see anyone about it. The nastiness and guilt trips....ugh, its just never ending. She manipulates every situation and she is SO DARN LAZY about the actual school work! I just want her to do what she needs to do! She pledged a sorority and is on the cheer team--but hasn't really made any meaningful connections. I believe she is overextended and overwhelmed, but she refuses to give either of those extra activities up. I am very proud of her--- I try to be loving and supportive and encouraging. But she can get so darn nasty! I can't forget the mean horrible, horrible things she has said in her fits of rage. If she is hurting--she wants us hurting,too. I am terrified she will end up home and I don't know that I have it in me to live with her again. And that makes me so sad that I don't quite know what to do with that emotion. I worry about her mental state, what her future will be, and what our future will be if this continues. I am just worn out!!