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<blockquote data-quote="Mattsmom277" data-source="post: 445131" data-attributes="member: 4264"><p>argh! The thing that stands out most to me is the entire concept your husband seems to have that he makes the most money (even though you say you had to remind him it is no longer the case) out of his siblings. Who cares? Who cares if you are multi millionairres? Who cares if so and so did XYZ for mother in law and father in law? That automatically leaves him on the cuff (READ: YOU AND THE KIDS BUDGET TOO!) for your in laws? For real? There is a BIG difference between wanting to do something nice and help out parents, that is altogether different than being someone made to be "obligated" to carry their expenses especially (!!!!!) when they have no reason for needing help if they are going to casinos etc. "Free" tourny or not, it is NOT a free trip, there ARE costs. They are wasting their money on foolish entertainment that they have no right to INDULGE in if it means they resort to relying on their adult kids who have spouses and children etc. Not even NEAR the same as good parents, responsible seniors who struggle on a tight firm budget therefore kids try to help out or something. I'd be blunt, husband or not. Sorry. Don't have it. Wont have it. Good luck with that.</p><p></p><p>Just last week my brother in law called my S/O. Apparently drug addicted sister in law called brother in law to talk about their mother. On and on she went at how since father in law passed last fall, mother in law is struggling. Oh yea, she is! I see it frequently. Because her limited income that WOULD support her basic needs and a few extras is paying to refill stolen prescriptions (stolen by sister in law) or for tickets to cross the province to help wipe sister in law's brow when she wants to detox AGAIN (lasts a day, she goes out with mother in law's cash and gets a fix and there goes the detox). I love my mother in law and am lucky for many of her qualities and do enjoy her. I am however realistic and she is not perfect. She enables sister in law financially and then ends up in tough financial straights herself. Aside from this, she has a small race track up the road with slot machines attached. Not a real casino, just the track and slots. She is a frequent visitor and although she convinces herself she has no problem with gambling since she won't spend more than $30 on the slots at a time or $30 on the races, do that 5 days a week, on a old age pension limited income and high rental costs, and it is no different than people making $100K a year who spend half of it in a casino and lose their mortgages. It's all relative, and on her income she can't toss money about like that. I haven't bought new summer clothes for 2 years. Yet S/O and I paid mother in law's power bills for past 3 months. Actually "I" paid it since S/O had his training allowance from employment insurance end a few weeks before graduation and has had no income of his own since, which is creeping up to the 3 month mark. Her power bill is more than my monthly child support for easy child, and I have a household to support with triple the bills and my income is less than mother in law's. When I heard that she went to visit sister in law and paid the bus tickets etc and replaced a stolen script out of pocket, I had enough. S/O agreed Im happy to say. brother in law's call was to say how sister in law was all upset and that it is the siblings DUTY to provide for their aging widowed mother, I about screamed in a rage but held it in. S/O laughed, he's so much better at not letting things get to him. He said umm, I have NO income and owe child support which makes me a DEADBEAT right now which I HATE, so no can do brother dear and drug addict sister should be told such. He said Melissa will NOT be permitted to pay moms bills anymore out of HER child support for easy child. brother in law pointed out S/O's new job and the decent salary. S/O said thanks for the congratulations! I'm going to enjoy a few treats myself which will add up to my wedding really, mom will have to cut out paying for sisters addictions and paying for her own slot problem. I was proud. </p><p></p><p>Hang in there, stick to your guns. Let husband handle it but hold those purse strings.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattsmom277, post: 445131, member: 4264"] argh! The thing that stands out most to me is the entire concept your husband seems to have that he makes the most money (even though you say you had to remind him it is no longer the case) out of his siblings. Who cares? Who cares if you are multi millionairres? Who cares if so and so did XYZ for mother in law and father in law? That automatically leaves him on the cuff (READ: YOU AND THE KIDS BUDGET TOO!) for your in laws? For real? There is a BIG difference between wanting to do something nice and help out parents, that is altogether different than being someone made to be "obligated" to carry their expenses especially (!!!!!) when they have no reason for needing help if they are going to casinos etc. "Free" tourny or not, it is NOT a free trip, there ARE costs. They are wasting their money on foolish entertainment that they have no right to INDULGE in if it means they resort to relying on their adult kids who have spouses and children etc. Not even NEAR the same as good parents, responsible seniors who struggle on a tight firm budget therefore kids try to help out or something. I'd be blunt, husband or not. Sorry. Don't have it. Wont have it. Good luck with that. Just last week my brother in law called my S/O. Apparently drug addicted sister in law called brother in law to talk about their mother. On and on she went at how since father in law passed last fall, mother in law is struggling. Oh yea, she is! I see it frequently. Because her limited income that WOULD support her basic needs and a few extras is paying to refill stolen prescriptions (stolen by sister in law) or for tickets to cross the province to help wipe sister in law's brow when she wants to detox AGAIN (lasts a day, she goes out with mother in law's cash and gets a fix and there goes the detox). I love my mother in law and am lucky for many of her qualities and do enjoy her. I am however realistic and she is not perfect. She enables sister in law financially and then ends up in tough financial straights herself. Aside from this, she has a small race track up the road with slot machines attached. Not a real casino, just the track and slots. She is a frequent visitor and although she convinces herself she has no problem with gambling since she won't spend more than $30 on the slots at a time or $30 on the races, do that 5 days a week, on a old age pension limited income and high rental costs, and it is no different than people making $100K a year who spend half of it in a casino and lose their mortgages. It's all relative, and on her income she can't toss money about like that. I haven't bought new summer clothes for 2 years. Yet S/O and I paid mother in law's power bills for past 3 months. Actually "I" paid it since S/O had his training allowance from employment insurance end a few weeks before graduation and has had no income of his own since, which is creeping up to the 3 month mark. Her power bill is more than my monthly child support for easy child, and I have a household to support with triple the bills and my income is less than mother in law's. When I heard that she went to visit sister in law and paid the bus tickets etc and replaced a stolen script out of pocket, I had enough. S/O agreed Im happy to say. brother in law's call was to say how sister in law was all upset and that it is the siblings DUTY to provide for their aging widowed mother, I about screamed in a rage but held it in. S/O laughed, he's so much better at not letting things get to him. He said umm, I have NO income and owe child support which makes me a DEADBEAT right now which I HATE, so no can do brother dear and drug addict sister should be told such. He said Melissa will NOT be permitted to pay moms bills anymore out of HER child support for easy child. brother in law pointed out S/O's new job and the decent salary. S/O said thanks for the congratulations! I'm going to enjoy a few treats myself which will add up to my wedding really, mom will have to cut out paying for sisters addictions and paying for her own slot problem. I was proud. Hang in there, stick to your guns. Let husband handle it but hold those purse strings. [/QUOTE]
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