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So very tired of this....
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<blockquote data-quote="witchiewoman71" data-source="post: 428134"><p>Looking,</p><p>I definitely know what you mean about the "rare moments". I get those with my difficult child but it is usually when she and I are alone. We talk, laugh, joke, it's nice; but then you add the husband, 8 yo difficult child, and my 2 yo easy child to the mix and she goes from funny to just plain evil. She dominates my 8 yo...she does look after him for a few hours when he gets home from school...but she has bossed him around and bullied him his entire life. I really think it seems to help her to have some responsibility where he is concerned; it keeps her busy and she does not have time to do sneaky things like trying to break into my room and steal my cigarettes or Xanax...I know there are many on here who probably are horrified to know that my oldest is responsible for my 8 yo, but drastic times call for drastic measures. I have put a lock on my bedroom door that is an outside door lock, so it requires a key to get in. She picked the regular lock we had. We used to lock it from the inside and shut the door. She; being the smart kid she is, figured out if she just used a small screw driver she could get in there.</p><p> </p><p>My son goes outside to play after he does his homework, so she is really just here. My parents live right next door and my grandfather as well. If there was an emergent situation, they know they can pick up the phone and call or they can go over my parents' house. I simply cannot afford the before/after school care AND the full time daycare for my 2 yo. I am going to put my son in Summer Camp this summer. All day every day is not a good mix for the 2 difficult children. It's just drama waiting to happen. </p><p> </p><p>My husband like yours travels a lot. He's been gone more than he's been home in the past 6 months. Thankfully there were only a couple trips that were 3 weeks long, and the rest are a week at the most. The only thing is, dealing with my oldest and my 2 yo is exhausting. I swear sometimes they act the same way! <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/bigsmile.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":bigsmile:" title="big smile :bigsmile:" data-shortname=":bigsmile:" /></p><p> </p><p>I have said before on here that it helps me to think of the positive things about my oldest difficult child. I will say that she helps with my 2 yo when her Dad is gone, and she does an awesome job. She may complain about it but she still does it. She also does well looking after my 8 yo difficult child. It seems like the responsibility helps her feel trusted and grown up. I am trying to work up to the time that I feel comfortable enough to let her watch the baby (after she goes to bed) so my husband and I can maybe go see a movie or something on the weekend to get a break. I'm not sure if that will happen.</p><p> </p><p>I know what you mean about needing to escape for a bit. It's a sad state of affairs, but I will use grocery shopping as an escape...I hate doing it, but at least I'm alone and I can take my time, stroll around and enjoy the quiet time. My husband helps a lot when he is home. He has become more active in helping me parent my difficult child. I am still the main disciplinarian around here, but he now has finally gotten a clue. Before he thought I was just over reacting. Now he sees; so that helps.</p><p> </p><p>Thank you for the kind words, and I hope you can find some time to yourself this weekend. You deserve it too. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/notalone.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":notalone:" title="notalone :notalone:" data-shortname=":notalone:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witchiewoman71, post: 428134"] Looking, I definitely know what you mean about the "rare moments". I get those with my difficult child but it is usually when she and I are alone. We talk, laugh, joke, it's nice; but then you add the husband, 8 yo difficult child, and my 2 yo easy child to the mix and she goes from funny to just plain evil. She dominates my 8 yo...she does look after him for a few hours when he gets home from school...but she has bossed him around and bullied him his entire life. I really think it seems to help her to have some responsibility where he is concerned; it keeps her busy and she does not have time to do sneaky things like trying to break into my room and steal my cigarettes or Xanax...I know there are many on here who probably are horrified to know that my oldest is responsible for my 8 yo, but drastic times call for drastic measures. I have put a lock on my bedroom door that is an outside door lock, so it requires a key to get in. She picked the regular lock we had. We used to lock it from the inside and shut the door. She; being the smart kid she is, figured out if she just used a small screw driver she could get in there. My son goes outside to play after he does his homework, so she is really just here. My parents live right next door and my grandfather as well. If there was an emergent situation, they know they can pick up the phone and call or they can go over my parents' house. I simply cannot afford the before/after school care AND the full time daycare for my 2 yo. I am going to put my son in Summer Camp this summer. All day every day is not a good mix for the 2 difficult children. It's just drama waiting to happen. My husband like yours travels a lot. He's been gone more than he's been home in the past 6 months. Thankfully there were only a couple trips that were 3 weeks long, and the rest are a week at the most. The only thing is, dealing with my oldest and my 2 yo is exhausting. I swear sometimes they act the same way! :bigsmile: I have said before on here that it helps me to think of the positive things about my oldest difficult child. I will say that she helps with my 2 yo when her Dad is gone, and she does an awesome job. She may complain about it but she still does it. She also does well looking after my 8 yo difficult child. It seems like the responsibility helps her feel trusted and grown up. I am trying to work up to the time that I feel comfortable enough to let her watch the baby (after she goes to bed) so my husband and I can maybe go see a movie or something on the weekend to get a break. I'm not sure if that will happen. I know what you mean about needing to escape for a bit. It's a sad state of affairs, but I will use grocery shopping as an escape...I hate doing it, but at least I'm alone and I can take my time, stroll around and enjoy the quiet time. My husband helps a lot when he is home. He has become more active in helping me parent my difficult child. I am still the main disciplinarian around here, but he now has finally gotten a clue. Before he thought I was just over reacting. Now he sees; so that helps. Thank you for the kind words, and I hope you can find some time to yourself this weekend. You deserve it too. :notalone: [/QUOTE]
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