Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
So very tired of this....
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="witchiewoman71" data-source="post: 428641"><p>" totally get the tension in the household...I feel for you.</p><p>Just out of curiosity how did your difficult child find out you read her diary? Did you tell her you read it or did you tell her that you could tell cuz of her eyes? I've dropped therapists because we didn't see eye to eye, either. </p><p>I hope you find peace soon. I really do."</p><p> </p><p>Wintak,</p><p>Thank you for the kind words, I too have sooo been there! The brushing the teeth thing seems funny to me now, because my oldest difficult child is going to be 15 in July...she did that stuff and was defiant every step of they way. My middle difficult child now 8. He's pretty sedate compared to his sister. </p><p> </p><p>His medications are working right now so he is my little love bug at the moment.. I still have to tell him every night to brush; and I have to smell his breath...BUT he had a not so great visit recently to the dentist so i think he gets it now what will happen if he doesn't brush! Now, if he doesn't have his medications, he is argumentative and whiney, but other than that NOTHING like his older sister.</p><p> </p><p> It's kind of funny, actually, because I just got done sitting them both down and explaining to them that because I parent them differently does not mean I love one or the other any more or less. I love them all equally, but they are all different children with different personalities. Some things work for my 8 yo difficult child that have never worked for my oldest one. My son is pretty easy to figure out at the moment. He is motivated by being able to earn time outside with his friends by doing chores and making sure his homework is complete. That stuff never worked to motivate my oldest daughter. I'm STILL trying to figure her motivation out...and she is turning 15 soon. I just hope I haven't missed my chance with her. </p><p> </p><p>My oldest difficult child, the soon-to-be 15 year old found out I read her diary because I told her I did. One of the main, cardinal rules in my household is honesty. I do not lie and I do not expect my children to lie to me. They know if they tell me the truth about something they did wrong, they will still get consequences, but if they lie and I find out, the consequences will be far more severe. My husband and I are both Military Veterans and integrity and trust are what we believe are the main personality traits of a good, honest person. Now we don't perscute the kids for a little white lie or something trivial, but the important ones like, "No, Mom, why would you think that? I would never do drugs," are taken VERY seriously. My oldest does not have a cell phone, a computer, or any privacy. She has not earned it back. I've told her over and over she just needs to talk to me and tell me truth and I wouldn't have to go looking for it. She actually told me a few days ago when we were having a nice Mom/daughter moment, that she now understands why I did it; although she doesn't like it. She asked me not to do it again and just ask her next time. I reminded her I asked her last time and she lied to me. I also reminded her that trust is earned, it's not something that comes automatically and every time she is caught in a lie, it tears down whatever trust we had started to build up again. </p><p> </p><p>I love my children to bits, and I want happiness for all 3 of them. I hope that we can find something that helps my oldest so that we can go back to being a loving family again. My husband and I understand that with any adolescent there is going to be conflict; but you add ODD in to that mix, and it is quite something..that's for sure!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witchiewoman71, post: 428641"] " totally get the tension in the household...I feel for you. Just out of curiosity how did your difficult child find out you read her diary? Did you tell her you read it or did you tell her that you could tell cuz of her eyes? I've dropped therapists because we didn't see eye to eye, either. I hope you find peace soon. I really do." Wintak, Thank you for the kind words, I too have sooo been there! The brushing the teeth thing seems funny to me now, because my oldest difficult child is going to be 15 in July...she did that stuff and was defiant every step of they way. My middle difficult child now 8. He's pretty sedate compared to his sister. His medications are working right now so he is my little love bug at the moment.. I still have to tell him every night to brush; and I have to smell his breath...BUT he had a not so great visit recently to the dentist so i think he gets it now what will happen if he doesn't brush! Now, if he doesn't have his medications, he is argumentative and whiney, but other than that NOTHING like his older sister. It's kind of funny, actually, because I just got done sitting them both down and explaining to them that because I parent them differently does not mean I love one or the other any more or less. I love them all equally, but they are all different children with different personalities. Some things work for my 8 yo difficult child that have never worked for my oldest one. My son is pretty easy to figure out at the moment. He is motivated by being able to earn time outside with his friends by doing chores and making sure his homework is complete. That stuff never worked to motivate my oldest daughter. I'm STILL trying to figure her motivation out...and she is turning 15 soon. I just hope I haven't missed my chance with her. My oldest difficult child, the soon-to-be 15 year old found out I read her diary because I told her I did. One of the main, cardinal rules in my household is honesty. I do not lie and I do not expect my children to lie to me. They know if they tell me the truth about something they did wrong, they will still get consequences, but if they lie and I find out, the consequences will be far more severe. My husband and I are both Military Veterans and integrity and trust are what we believe are the main personality traits of a good, honest person. Now we don't perscute the kids for a little white lie or something trivial, but the important ones like, "No, Mom, why would you think that? I would never do drugs," are taken VERY seriously. My oldest does not have a cell phone, a computer, or any privacy. She has not earned it back. I've told her over and over she just needs to talk to me and tell me truth and I wouldn't have to go looking for it. She actually told me a few days ago when we were having a nice Mom/daughter moment, that she now understands why I did it; although she doesn't like it. She asked me not to do it again and just ask her next time. I reminded her I asked her last time and she lied to me. I also reminded her that trust is earned, it's not something that comes automatically and every time she is caught in a lie, it tears down whatever trust we had started to build up again. I love my children to bits, and I want happiness for all 3 of them. I hope that we can find something that helps my oldest so that we can go back to being a loving family again. My husband and I understand that with any adolescent there is going to be conflict; but you add ODD in to that mix, and it is quite something..that's for sure!! [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
So very tired of this....
Top