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General Parenting
So what do you think when you hear the words...
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 418220"><p>I think so much depends on the kid and your relationship and if they are a easy child or difficult child. When my difficult child was in 9th grade in a new high school with lots of new friends who I had no clue about it, I had a rule that I had to check with parents and make sure that parents were home if he was going over there. This made him really angry with me and in some ways probably hurt our relationship. I felt I was just doing what any parent should do. Now it was also true that I didn't trust him at all and knew he would be going to the houses with no parents home and likely drinking and drugging etc. etc. So recently my easy child daughter now in 10th grade at same school wanted to go over to a new friends house after school. I said fine and thought how uncomfortable it would be to call the parents and said ok.... and it hit me why my son was so mad at me in 9th grade, because his friends parents probably didn't call. The BIG difference is that I totally trust my daughter. True she may some day do something she should not, but she talks to me a lot, she has never ever done anything to break my trust. So I trusted her when she said that there would be 3 girls there etc. And it was not a big deal. I do still call and check if it is a weekend party type thing because drinking at those is so rampant.... but this was really no big deal. </p><p></p><p>With my son I don't regret taking the stand I did because I truly believe if I hadn't he would have gotten into the drugs even faster and more seriously than he did even with my vigilance. So in that case it was a battle I picked with my son but didn't bother with with my daughter.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 418220"] I think so much depends on the kid and your relationship and if they are a easy child or difficult child. When my difficult child was in 9th grade in a new high school with lots of new friends who I had no clue about it, I had a rule that I had to check with parents and make sure that parents were home if he was going over there. This made him really angry with me and in some ways probably hurt our relationship. I felt I was just doing what any parent should do. Now it was also true that I didn't trust him at all and knew he would be going to the houses with no parents home and likely drinking and drugging etc. etc. So recently my easy child daughter now in 10th grade at same school wanted to go over to a new friends house after school. I said fine and thought how uncomfortable it would be to call the parents and said ok.... and it hit me why my son was so mad at me in 9th grade, because his friends parents probably didn't call. The BIG difference is that I totally trust my daughter. True she may some day do something she should not, but she talks to me a lot, she has never ever done anything to break my trust. So I trusted her when she said that there would be 3 girls there etc. And it was not a big deal. I do still call and check if it is a weekend party type thing because drinking at those is so rampant.... but this was really no big deal. With my son I don't regret taking the stand I did because I truly believe if I hadn't he would have gotten into the drugs even faster and more seriously than he did even with my vigilance. So in that case it was a battle I picked with my son but didn't bother with with my daughter. [/QUOTE]
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