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So what do you think when you hear the words...
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 418253" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>At the height of the bad times with- thank you, I didn't care if he called me a ($!#$ - I did care if he came after me with the knives. To me, that was picking my battles. Actually, it wasn't so much that I didn't care about his language, it was that if I fought the physical violence *and* the language battles, I would've had nothing left for anyone else. Also, in my mind, if I chose to fight a battle, I would have to be able to "win" it. Short of duct-taping his mouth, I was never going to win the language battle. In the grand scheme of things around here, language was just so not a priority. </p><p></p><p>With Diva, it's a little different. I am fighting the facebook battle because we've had far too many incidents over the years of her getting bent out of shape over real/imagined slights by peers. She's not called Diva for nothing. And my goodness - some of the parents in our community (from cheer or Girl Scouts or softball) cannot handle facebook - I do not want her getting sucked into adult drama on top of typical teen drama. I did relent on the "dating" thing, once I found out that "dating" consisted of her "hanging out" with- the boy. Rules were in our family room (Boo is always in there - good chaperon, LOL) or on our front porch (not back porch). </p><p></p><p>It's a delicate balance - wanting to protect kids from what you *know* is a bad choice (but not life-threatening or permanently disfiguring), but also giving them the freedom to make mistakes (which they're supposed to be making). Picking my battles has been different with each kid and is changing as they get older. It doesn't mean just giving in on everything. It does mean being consistent and having some kind of logic to back up the rules.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 418253, member: 8"] At the height of the bad times with- thank you, I didn't care if he called me a ($!#$ - I did care if he came after me with the knives. To me, that was picking my battles. Actually, it wasn't so much that I didn't care about his language, it was that if I fought the physical violence *and* the language battles, I would've had nothing left for anyone else. Also, in my mind, if I chose to fight a battle, I would have to be able to "win" it. Short of duct-taping his mouth, I was never going to win the language battle. In the grand scheme of things around here, language was just so not a priority. With Diva, it's a little different. I am fighting the facebook battle because we've had far too many incidents over the years of her getting bent out of shape over real/imagined slights by peers. She's not called Diva for nothing. And my goodness - some of the parents in our community (from cheer or Girl Scouts or softball) cannot handle facebook - I do not want her getting sucked into adult drama on top of typical teen drama. I did relent on the "dating" thing, once I found out that "dating" consisted of her "hanging out" with- the boy. Rules were in our family room (Boo is always in there - good chaperon, LOL) or on our front porch (not back porch). It's a delicate balance - wanting to protect kids from what you *know* is a bad choice (but not life-threatening or permanently disfiguring), but also giving them the freedom to make mistakes (which they're supposed to be making). Picking my battles has been different with each kid and is changing as they get older. It doesn't mean just giving in on everything. It does mean being consistent and having some kind of logic to back up the rules. [/QUOTE]
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