So, You Thought Something Would Be Done About FM?


New Member
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Yeah, RIGHT!

So, I send all the stuff to my attorney via fax. All the emails, all the photos (I also sent it to him via regular mail, certified :smile: I'm smart).

He sends it to CYS.

CYS said they can ask her to take the photos off her page, but cannot enforce it.

They also said they cannot do anything else about this matter because difficult child 2 wants to have contact with her.

So, all that, and nothing. It's okay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :smile:

Know what? I don't care. I sent it off. I've done my part. This is not going to eat at me one more day of my life.



New Member
Ugh. Well, you're least you did your part and you won't have that hanging over your head. Stinks that there isn't more you can do though.


New Member
I agree that it stinks, but somehow, I can't be surprised. That's so sad that it is that way. I hope you don't let it eat away at you. Not healthy at all. You tried, that's all you can do.
in my humble opinion, this is absolutely outrageous :grrr:!!! What is wrong with CYS :hammer:???

As I've already said, previous FM is totally TWISTED!!! I definitely agree with someone who posted before (I can't remember who), that she is a bit scary!!!

For what it's worth, I believe you did the right thing. I'm so sorry that nothing can be done about this. I'm still in shock :hammer:... WFEN


New Member
I just don't understand that. How is it "legal" for an adult to communicate with a minor, if the parent doesn't allow it? How can it not be a predatory action on her part?

I'm sorry it turned out that way, but it just doesn't smell right to me. You did the right thing! You're protecting your son. I don't understand how the system isn't standing with you on this. Not letting it eat at you is a great idea. I don't know if I could just sweep it under the rug. Injustice really drives me nuts.

timer lady

Queen of Hearts

I didn't expect anyone to take this seriously - I know better. However it is documented. That says a great deal.

by the way, CYS can & should put a stop to this - it's their job. If they choose not to do so, they are interfering with the treatment & placement plan in place. It's on their heads. You've done your part.

I'm sorry that this FM is such a PITA. None of this is right. It shouldn't be this hard - these people are employed to work with the parents, not against them.


Active Member
This doesn't make sense to me either, he's under 16. :hammer: You've done what you could, and it's on record, so if this is as creepy as I feel it is it will come out. Telling your son you're psycho really aids in that reunification plan don't it, I can sure tell CYS is behind that plan 100% (sarcasm here). What does your attorney say? As he is under 16, is it legal for her to post his picture without your permission?

Ah well, as you said, you did your part now it's time to let it go and do what you're able to do and work on what you can. :flower:


New Member
I don't understand, how is it that a minor can be allowed to make that decision??!! Can they not see that she is messing with his head and that he is an adult??!! Is this not a form of mental abuse? If nothing else slander against you??!!

Janna, I am so sorry! It makes absolutely no sense what-so-ever!


I am a CD addict
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> I don't understand how the system isn't standing with you on this. Injustice really drives me nuts. </div></div>

We filed a police report when my difficult child's boyfriend(23)(ex now yippee)wrote to her through a school mate. It went nowhere. This just burns me up. I believe in being proactive not just reactive. Unfortunately for our kids the SYSTEM is very reactive. Let something happen before we do anything. For our difficult child's this is not usually a good thing.

Janna I am so sorry that you have to be going through this. Like your difficult child doesn't have enough on his plate. As my kids would say I think she's cracked.


Going Green
I'm amazed and not surprised all at the same time. Geesh. I would think though that there would be some legal issue here in that he's a minor. Did your attorney say anything about it? What a crock. I too am also amazed at your composure but then again at this point, I suppose nothing should be surprising. Sorry you're having to deal with this crack pot still. Hugs.


New Member
Does difficult child 2 have a myspace page as well?

Is he placed due to a neglect case that you voluntarily entered (not that you are neglectful at all!) or what we would call a CHINS petition here in NH? A CHINS is a child in need of services petition that can get court ordered services and placement for kids. Usually the parent files or school does.

I ask because If there are court hearings involved, then someone (either your attorney or CYS or the advocate for difficult child 2) can motion the court for a cease contact order. ITs rare, but some Judges do not like others meddling in the kiddos treatment so they do not take kindly to people like the fm who is continuing contact (especially if she is saying detrimental things about you, the mother!)

Stella Johnson

Active Member
Get a restraining order. They aren't hard to get. Maybe that will slap some sense into her.
Send a copy to CYS. She is contacting your minor son against your wishes. It's stalking.



Well-Known Member
Janna, you have to laugh. You can't cry. I can't believe they aren't concerned. This is what's wrong with the foster care system. Anyone can become a foster mother, and Mrs. Foster Mother is one of the strange ones out there. Not all are strange or controlling, but I've met enough who are to think they should give A LOT more training, make it a paying job (the board payment doesn't count as a salary), and make it hard to become one. This lady sounds out of her mind.


New Member
I dunno, I don't get it. I guess because difficult child 2 is corresponding with her, it's okay.

You know, he's just as pathetic as she is. He's just telling her all this stuff she wants to hear, but really isn't true, so I cannot blame her 100%.

I have no idea or explination why it's okay with everyone. I could delete his MySpace page. I don't really want to. At this point, I guess what I do not know won't hurt me. I'm not logging into his stuff for a while. And really, once he's home, he won't be on the net.

I just cannot deal with the stress of all this. So I'm not going to care. She can keep continuing to think he's her "son" in her own twisted head. He's not. He's never going back to her home. That's that, I guess (and yes, this whole system is, again, backwards).

Thanks everyone,


Wiped Out

Well-Known Member
Staff member
Sorry I haven't responded sooner-I'm sorry for all you are having to go through with this. It's so sad the system is what it is. Hugs.


Well-Known Member
Well, what does your atty say? Did you tell him what their response was? (Non-response, actually.)
Still, you're the adult, and difficult child is living in your home.
You've done what you had to do, and you're the mom now.
How is difficult child doing?