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<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 609910" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p>You cannot make right choices for your difficult child. The only thing you can do is tell her what the right choices are. That is small comfort, when the choices come home to roost. </p><p></p><p>You are right in cancelling the allotment.</p><p></p><p>This child is not doing what she agreed to do. </p><p></p><p>The thing that happens with difficult child kids is that they feel entitled to whatever it is they want at that moment. For some reason, they are able to throw us off track, too. Given the nature of the phone conversation you had with her, whether her boyfriend of the moment is upset or not is not something a normal child would have had the guts to bring up. Your difficult child is in trouble. She is going a wrong way and she will not listen. There will be consequences. I think you need to hold a hard line. Tell difficult child ahead of time what you are going to do. </p><p></p><p>What is this, about selling the computer you bought her for school? How dare she. </p><p></p><p>How did that get swept under the rug in favor of the boyfriend thing?</p><p></p><p>You still have to be in there, parenting her the best you can. That is your responsibility. I hear that you are doing that...but your difficult child is all over the place. You are her mother. You don't need anyone else to talk to her about what she is doing because she will be less upset, that way.</p><p></p><p>I always did feel wrong and foolish where my adolescent difficult children were concerned. I don't know how they do that to us, but it's horrible. Parents of normal children do not have the same kinds of things happen to them that we need to face, routinely.</p><p></p><p>How are you and husband holding up?</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 609910, member: 1721"] You cannot make right choices for your difficult child. The only thing you can do is tell her what the right choices are. That is small comfort, when the choices come home to roost. You are right in cancelling the allotment. This child is not doing what she agreed to do. The thing that happens with difficult child kids is that they feel entitled to whatever it is they want at that moment. For some reason, they are able to throw us off track, too. Given the nature of the phone conversation you had with her, whether her boyfriend of the moment is upset or not is not something a normal child would have had the guts to bring up. Your difficult child is in trouble. She is going a wrong way and she will not listen. There will be consequences. I think you need to hold a hard line. Tell difficult child ahead of time what you are going to do. What is this, about selling the computer you bought her for school? How dare she. How did that get swept under the rug in favor of the boyfriend thing? You still have to be in there, parenting her the best you can. That is your responsibility. I hear that you are doing that...but your difficult child is all over the place. You are her mother. You don't need anyone else to talk to her about what she is doing because she will be less upset, that way. I always did feel wrong and foolish where my adolescent difficult children were concerned. I don't know how they do that to us, but it's horrible. Parents of normal children do not have the same kinds of things happen to them that we need to face, routinely. How are you and husband holding up? Cedar [/QUOTE]
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