some apologies and some catching up

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by dreamer, Dec 5, 2008.

  1. dreamer

    dreamer New Member

    My apologies are becuz I have not been here in awhile. I have had a hard time lately getting the internet from my college daughter, LOL and my teen son, and my husband.and my difficult child! (she is prolly the worst one about takeing a turn, of course)
    And anyway, I just have been very busy TRYING so hard to make up for lost time, the years and years my home was neglected SO bad due to me working the 20 hours days, and then my sick years.....not just major projects got neglected, but even all normal routine every day chores, and it is VERY time intense, labor intense and sometimes tedious trying to restore order. But in order to make room and be ready for PCs new baby, I have been working super I have not been online.
    So, I have missed LOTS here.
    Thankfully, my own difficult child has been relatively "stable" and things have been status quo. (knock on wood)
    Even more thankfully, my husband is also relatively calm these days, for the most part. Mostly, these days, we all just kinda let him "do his own thing" - mostly that means just letting him play video games 24-7 and he basically lives in videogame land.....he is not rreally part of real life at all, ever. BUT he IS calm that way....<shrug>

    So, difficult child is calm, mostly.....and easy child is getting absolutely HUGE> she is feeling some better, but, heck, nearly anything would have been an improvement. Sure seems to me on the young girls, they seem to have more pronounced "bumps" I don't know. Her first semester of college is coming to an end, and no matter how she does on her final exams next week, I am so excited, she got straight As. And she has her schedule for next semester all registered etc.
    We have settled on a date for her baby shower, me and difficult child are throwing it......we are haveing it at our local VFW, LOL cuz our house is simpy far far too small. It will be in Jan, and it is so wild.....I am a chatterbox, and when I am out and about doing errands, I chatter to anyone and everyone. I befriend waitresses, store clerks, even the ppl in gas station etc? They ALL keep saying they want to come to the shower! Even the MALES! I have never given any type of party or gathering before.....but.....yup- I am letting them ALL come.....remains to be seen who will really show up.....Funny, it is the same date, the baby shower- as the father to bes birthday......and it is also MY 21 wedding anniversary! ROFL.....
    easy child and father to be are working hard learning how to be a little family, with LOTS of help from us here...while we try hard to create a small apartment in my basement for them. (working from scratch on a very tight budget)
    Sure, they have some adjustments, compromises to learn, blending families, our family and his.....the normal stuff.....the ups and downs.they seem to be hanging in OK.....but, we got some devastating news this week. Father to bes best friend just got deployed with Marines to Afghanistan.....and his mom was diagnosis'ed with cancer this week.and she told father to be she is declining treatment. His parents recently divorced.....he has 2 brothers, one is deployed and one is here at home....all 3 boys are in their early 20s....and their mom on top of the cancer has been battleing mental illness herself. The boys are haveing a hard time knowing what to do, how to do it......and they are feeling the stress. AND father to bes mom has so far refused to even acknowledge the new baby to be. (thankfully, PCs bfs father is excited and trying to be supportive of the new young family to be)
    MY son is same as always...he is SO laid back, way too witty and bright for his own good....still homeschooling with me....easy child has been wanting to help with the homeschooling......and she has had him doing HER college work side by side with her! (she is a far stricter teacher than I) My goodness this son of mine, he is 13? YIKES he has grown so much this past 12 months, it is mind boggling, really!
    My girls are both considerably shorter than me, but my son is now my height. (5'8") My difficult child is heaviest.....((I tend to think years of medications contributed to some of that, not all, but some) but my son is a string bean.
    So, last week, we decided to have a studio portrait our everyday attire (for a change) included PCs boyfriend in our "family" shot....OMG I have to say, I think we had the BEST photographer in the world! We have some amazing and very FUN shots.....and yes......the photographer asked to come to shower, too! LOL----plus she waits tables on the side,, and asked us to come see her where she waits she is a preschool teacher. LOL. She made us look wonderful and fun in the pictures, but she also got some very amazing wonderful sensitive, tender PCs boyfriend resting his head on PCs tummy.....and I do not know HOW but, some of me and husband where we look every biit as in deep love as 21 years ago....and my not living in this world husband? she managed to somehow get some shots of me and him......they are VERY playful,, very funny. She was just the most incredible photographer I have EVER seen, anywwhere. So we have some wonderful photos--and if easy child will help me I hope eventually to get them online so I can share them with you. (I cannot do it myself cuz I am still useing my trusty ancient beloved webtv, LOL)

    SO- I apologize I have not been here......and we have so much excitement going on here at home these days.

    Sending you all good thoughts and best wishes.
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2008
  2. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    You don't have to apologize. Babies are wonderful, this is so exciting.
    I hope we can see the photos one day, they sound beautiful!
    You sound like things are going well, despite the cleaning.
  3. dreamer

    dreamer New Member

    Whew, boy, yes, I cannot think of anything more exciting and wonderful than new life. So many of my daughters friends have babies now and almost daily we have a baby or 2 stop in to let me snuggle smile and make funny faces and sing Puff the magic dragon off key to.
    OK so, while I was typing my original post here....something happened.....and.I wanted to share it I think becuz I want to send HOPE to some of you who struggle.
    Mind you our home is incredibly unbelieveably tiny....
    difficult child has a friend sleeping over. Girls nite? Son also has a friend sleeping over. easy child went to bed kinda early, sent father to be home to his moms early cuz she was tired, long day- we had 2 cars break down and it was emotional and exhausting.
    husband is never aware of anything gong on around him in real life....difficult child is usually mostly hypomanic and can be annoying.

    I live for.....little this...

    ROFL....difficult child and son are smushed in a room with their friends.....all 4 of them smushed in one room.....they have music on quietly, taking turns country and rock.....Mindful of easy child in room next to them....with the 3 kitties and dog all curled up with the 4 kids.....the girls have hair straighteners out.....and are straightening the boys hair! An hour ago, the girls talked the boys into painting the girls nails for them, these 2 teen boys, polishing the girls nails? French Manicures? The girls are 20, the boys are 13....sitting here next to me......husband who is never aware of real life, or what is going on around him? He decided to .......make a ppot of decaf coffee? case me or the kids wanted a treat? HE NEVER makes coffee at all...I mean NEVER. The kids? I have never seen any of them drink coffee etc........BUT- I guess becuz husband came and announced he made decaf if anyone wanted a treat.....(nevermind I made special homemade cocoa) all 4 kids went and got a cup of decaf.....It sure was cute fun watching them poreing over my mug collection to decide who would use what mug?

    There IS hope------every once in awhile these special little times just creep in.....when all the difficult child ness kinda is immaterial and is not dictating EVERYTHING in the house.
    And it occurs to me, sure seems to me it was not all that long ago, I posted about a very special and nice Halloween gathering here at my house, spur of the moment and very busy. Makes me wonder if these special little good moments are hapening more often? and closer together?
    I have to tell you, these boys ARE boys boys....but, they like their hair "just so" what a riot to watch them do the girls manicures! and ALL the kids, they are always very willing to include ME in everything too.

    Have hope. If someone had tried to tell me this was even remotely posible 5 years ago? I NEVER would have believed.
    I wish and hope for all of you to be able to have some good moments, too. Gosh, our road to here was SO long, so hard, so lonesome.
  4. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    The coffee had me laughing! That is wonderful and so funny how his mind works, but how sweet.
    What a sweet happy night for all of you.
    At least the boys were not getting their nails painted!
  5. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Hi, Dreamer! I;'m glad you checked in and let us know how things are going. It's so nice to hear things are not only "ok", but you've been leading a pretty exciting life!! The baby shower sounds fun- I bet you are lost in anticipation!

    Keep us posted from time to time so we know how it's going!
  6. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Dreamer it sounds wonderful. I love having my house busy and full with family and friends. It seems in moments like that the love multiplies and fills the home with a warmth and kindness that is contagious. Have fun with getting things ready for the new baby. It is so exciting waiting for a new life. You sound good, content, happy.
  7. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Dreamer, don't ever feel bad about not being around for a while. Life sometimes takes over and you just don't have time to post.

    It sounds like you've all been having a wonderful time, though. What a great evening with all of your kids and their friends. I can just picture the girls doing the boys' hair. Those are moments to treasure.

    I hope you can share some of your family portraits one day. They sound lovely.