COM, I appreciate your hugs. I have no idea how long 36 has been drinking because he didn't do it while at home. When we made him leave, we searched his totally trashed room and found disgusting things such as urine filled containers (guess he was too lazy to walk to the bathroom????) and porn on this computer (some of it not normal porn, so to speak), but no beer bottles. Now he never doesn't have booze around and he acts pretty not drunk while drinking, at least at first. And he rarely gets so bad he passes out (saves that for "special occasions). The chewing scares me as much as the alcohol because it is so deadly. THat pure nicotine in every crevice of your being. And he has no pain tolerance so quitting anything he needs will be really hard for him.
I wish I could think his behavior is due strictly to drinking, but I think it is the other way around...he started drinking because he is uncomfortable in his skin and keeps doing it now because he needs it, like the chewing. It doesn't matter why. He'd be better off quitting, but since he admits he's addicted to chew, he claims he is just a moderate drinker, not an alcoholic and I can't prove it and, if I could prove it, so what? I can't stop it.
I always felt my family was a bunch of dry drunks. Nobody drank, really, but they acted like they did. Then my sister started drinking and she gets herself into more jams because of it, but, of course, she has no problem and maybe she doesn't. But she still gets into trouble when she drinks.
When I go to Al-Anon I feel like I fit right in, even though I can't prove I know any alcoholics. In my heart I know I have at least one in my life and that if anyone in my family of origin had drunk at all, they'd all be addicted, including me.
COM, again, appreciate another very thoughtful, helfpul post. I'm so glad we gained you as a member here.
