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General Parenting
Some thoughts on diagnosis's and Raising our kids...
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 140579"><p>I think some people are predisposed to certain behaviors, personalities, disorders, what have you and then environment determines whether it is going to come out or not.</p><p></p><p>I think some people are born the way they are and then environment is going to decide how well they cope and/or overcome.</p><p></p><p>I think in spite of some parents best efforts, children are going to struggle. I think in spite of some parents worst 'efforts', some children are going to succeed.</p><p></p><p>The mind is truly a fascinating thing. We are just beginning to have a grasp at understanding. There are just so many variables.</p><p></p><p>I do think - and I have thought about this a lot with my daughter and myself - that we have to be careful with our understanding and compassion of our children. Speaking for myself, I know that at times because I *know* what my daughter is going through because I've been there myself - I think I've hindered more than helped. I've been too understanding, too compassionate. It's so hard to watch your child struggle. You want to take that away and make it as easy for them as possible. </p><p></p><p>But, children learn through their efforts. They learn through failing. They also learn what we teach them. And hopefully, that will guide them through their efforts, failings and shortcomings.</p><p></p><p>I have to remind myself daily that Wynter needs to be able to function in society. In the real world. Not something created just for her.</p><p></p><p>One of the hardest things I've had to do - and still have to do - is let my child fail, let her fall down. I am there for her. I will support her. I will guide her. But I cannot do it for her. No matter how much I want to. She has to fail so she can learn to succeed. And so she can appreciate it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 140579"] I think some people are predisposed to certain behaviors, personalities, disorders, what have you and then environment determines whether it is going to come out or not. I think some people are born the way they are and then environment is going to decide how well they cope and/or overcome. I think in spite of some parents best efforts, children are going to struggle. I think in spite of some parents worst 'efforts', some children are going to succeed. The mind is truly a fascinating thing. We are just beginning to have a grasp at understanding. There are just so many variables. I do think - and I have thought about this a lot with my daughter and myself - that we have to be careful with our understanding and compassion of our children. Speaking for myself, I know that at times because I *know* what my daughter is going through because I've been there myself - I think I've hindered more than helped. I've been too understanding, too compassionate. It's so hard to watch your child struggle. You want to take that away and make it as easy for them as possible. But, children learn through their efforts. They learn through failing. They also learn what we teach them. And hopefully, that will guide them through their efforts, failings and shortcomings. I have to remind myself daily that Wynter needs to be able to function in society. In the real world. Not something created just for her. One of the hardest things I've had to do - and still have to do - is let my child fail, let her fall down. I am there for her. I will support her. I will guide her. But I cannot do it for her. No matter how much I want to. She has to fail so she can learn to succeed. And so she can appreciate it. [/QUOTE]
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