I have been thinking a bit about this topic and helping K with empowerment. Helping her feel like she is a strong person and not so anxious. I also have been thinking about others here and my own childhood, and what and how we can do to help our children get diagnosis'd and grow up to be self-sufficient!?!? My first thought was, how does a Doctor sift through our own, as a parent BS... and know, truly know who is telling the truth? How does a Doctor know if a child is being affected by chaos in the home, or truly by a Nuerological Disorder? Something on the Spectrum, or PTSD? Really ADHD, or just bad parenting??? I know Nuero-psychiatric evaluation's can sift through a lot of this and a really good doctor can see through most of this... But most doctor's don't have time, they hear, my child is out of control give a diagnosis and medications... how do we as parents look at our own situation and really see and take a step back and maybe realize that WE are the problem??? I know husband and I can be Over-Indulgent... but at times it is necessary when your child is destabilized. How do we fix our home first and then try to help our child? What if it is truly a both case scenerio? For me I needed to fix my own Bipolar Disorder, so I could be stable... I think it was both for me growing up, a horrible home life mixed with Mental Illness... I am sure a lot here have similar situations. When we took K to one Therapist, she said I think she has PTSD, I looked at husband and was like, "From what!" therapist was trying to rule out BiPolar (BP)... OK so we listened... She tried to say K had PTSD from a traumatic birth... K did not have a traumatic birth. She had a long labor... She was never in distress, never had a problem. I was in a long labor!!! THis therapist tried to tie some connection to all of this as to ALL of K's problems... husband and I started laughing... I thought she was going to say, we fought or something!!! I have a nephew, this is why I am thinking about this topic also. He is subjected to a Drunk Dad and goes back and forth to visit Mom and Dad. His Dad has huge anger issues... So Nephew, shows signs of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified. Does he truly? Or is this a coping skill??? More PTSD? But if you took him to a doctor and they knew nothing about the drunk Dad or the fighting and anger... what would he think??? My other thought was, my Father said to me the other day. (I detached from my Dad for almost 20 years due to drugs and alcohol) He said that one of the reasons he survived and has made it, was that his family did not turn their backs on him, which is why he can not turn his back on my Brother. Who is addicted to OXY, and an alcoholic... I have not talked to my Brother in over 2 years... mostly because I do not want the drama in my home with the Girls... So I look at advice on this board from everyone... and some of us with histories of drugs and what not... of having been kicked out or kick kids out... the whole detachment thing. The whole tough love. My Dad says NO... that would have killed him. My Mom was detached from/ by everyone... she killed herself. So when you are truly dealing with Mental Illness and not just some defiant kid does it change things? When you are dealing with any of our issues here on the board, yet they are not capable of living on their own... what do you do? How do you help them? Is there anyone here on the board that has older kids that has done these things and can truly say their kid is doing well??? If there kid was dealing with more than just an oppositional personality? Or Drugs... Or a bad home life??? I have no idea how I got through life, I think if I did not have friends who helped me at times... Do some kids just "make it" despite our best efforts or failures? Sorry I am rambling and thinking... with our move and changes coming up and the fact that K is doing OK... but not. The fact that I can see how messed up her little head is. The fact that she will need to be put back on medications most likely. I get SO tired of being the strong tough one... and she is only 6. The rules the structure... but it is the only way she has remained semi-stable. I just want her to know that she is a strong beautiful person... yet when I look in her eyes at times. I just hate Mental Illness at times, I want the good parts. Not the parts that make my Daughter want to die.