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Somehow I knew it wouldn't last...
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<blockquote data-quote="greenrene" data-source="post: 576154" data-attributes="member: 9177"><p>Yes, I want to stay married. We do love each other, but he has a VERY skewed sense of reality. His mother, father, and sister (and I and my brother in law) all believe that difficult child needs to be out of our home, at least for a while. He said he's about ready to tell everyone to go %$#& themselves and move back to KY. THAT'S how delusional his thinking is. He also mentioned getting an apartment with difficult child. HA! Right, that would work.</p><p></p><p>Our convo last night scared me though - I didn't realize how much he blames me for all this. Since difficult child hit her teens, things have spiraled to the unbearable stage. I've been living in survival mode for a very long time, and I know that some of you guys understand how that goes - everything gets overwhelming. My house has been a total mess, BUT - my kids and husband have always had clean clothes and good food. While we were gone for Christmas break, we paid friends to totally clean our house. I have, for the most part, been able to keep up with it. There are some areas that need some more work, but my floors are spotless, the kitchen is clean, I'm on an upward momentum with my housekeeping. I was hoping that having difficult child gone would help that even more by reducing my stress level, but it's not going to happen. </p><p></p><p>Last night he said that I can't handle difficult child, I can't handle the house... his parents are supposedly saying that he should leave me (somehow I don't believe that)... But HE has HIS **** together because all of our bills are paid. He then proceeded to point to all the places in the house that still need work (the kitchen table has a lot of stuff on it, the hearth, etc.), completely ignoring all that I HAVE done, ignoring the fact that I've managed to get and keep all his clothes clean AND put away (despite his habit of leaving them lying around wherever he took them off) since we've been home from Christmas, ignoring the fact that all the floors are picked up and vacuumed, etc.</p><p></p><p>Ironic that his "I've got my **** together" assertion was after waking up from a beer-induced nap.</p><p></p><p>Also last night, he kept saying that, when it comes to me and difficult child, that he feels like he's got 2 kids that he needs to referee. I try not to engage difficult child in arguments, but I also won't stand there and let her be defiant and rude. Most of what I do is trying to just get her to SHUT UP. He kept saying "2 kids, 2 kids, 2 kids" over and over while I was trying to explain myself, and I finally slammed my hand on the couch and said "FINE, I HEARD YOU! NOW WHAT IS THE SOLUTION??????? YOU KEEP POINTING FINGERS AND BLAMING BUT AREN'T OFFERING ANY **** ANSWERS!!!!!!" It was totally ridiculous.</p><p></p><p>He's not normally like that. I guess the resentment has been building up over time. He's normally very laid back, easygoing, and kind. None of us knows what on earth to do with difficult child, but everyone's quick to lay blame. I contend that her issues are likely genetic, and it wouldn't matter if Mother Teresa had been raising her, she'd still be difficult.</p><p></p><p>Anyway.</p><p></p><p>He's picked up difficult child from sister in law's house, and right now they're out fishing. I told him that he really needs to talk to her about what our expectations are for her coming back home. I refuse to put up with koi from either of them.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="greenrene, post: 576154, member: 9177"] Yes, I want to stay married. We do love each other, but he has a VERY skewed sense of reality. His mother, father, and sister (and I and my brother in law) all believe that difficult child needs to be out of our home, at least for a while. He said he's about ready to tell everyone to go %$#& themselves and move back to KY. THAT'S how delusional his thinking is. He also mentioned getting an apartment with difficult child. HA! Right, that would work. Our convo last night scared me though - I didn't realize how much he blames me for all this. Since difficult child hit her teens, things have spiraled to the unbearable stage. I've been living in survival mode for a very long time, and I know that some of you guys understand how that goes - everything gets overwhelming. My house has been a total mess, BUT - my kids and husband have always had clean clothes and good food. While we were gone for Christmas break, we paid friends to totally clean our house. I have, for the most part, been able to keep up with it. There are some areas that need some more work, but my floors are spotless, the kitchen is clean, I'm on an upward momentum with my housekeeping. I was hoping that having difficult child gone would help that even more by reducing my stress level, but it's not going to happen. Last night he said that I can't handle difficult child, I can't handle the house... his parents are supposedly saying that he should leave me (somehow I don't believe that)... But HE has HIS **** together because all of our bills are paid. He then proceeded to point to all the places in the house that still need work (the kitchen table has a lot of stuff on it, the hearth, etc.), completely ignoring all that I HAVE done, ignoring the fact that I've managed to get and keep all his clothes clean AND put away (despite his habit of leaving them lying around wherever he took them off) since we've been home from Christmas, ignoring the fact that all the floors are picked up and vacuumed, etc. Ironic that his "I've got my **** together" assertion was after waking up from a beer-induced nap. Also last night, he kept saying that, when it comes to me and difficult child, that he feels like he's got 2 kids that he needs to referee. I try not to engage difficult child in arguments, but I also won't stand there and let her be defiant and rude. Most of what I do is trying to just get her to SHUT UP. He kept saying "2 kids, 2 kids, 2 kids" over and over while I was trying to explain myself, and I finally slammed my hand on the couch and said "FINE, I HEARD YOU! NOW WHAT IS THE SOLUTION??????? YOU KEEP POINTING FINGERS AND BLAMING BUT AREN'T OFFERING ANY **** ANSWERS!!!!!!" It was totally ridiculous. He's not normally like that. I guess the resentment has been building up over time. He's normally very laid back, easygoing, and kind. None of us knows what on earth to do with difficult child, but everyone's quick to lay blame. I contend that her issues are likely genetic, and it wouldn't matter if Mother Teresa had been raising her, she'd still be difficult. Anyway. He's picked up difficult child from sister in law's house, and right now they're out fishing. I told him that he really needs to talk to her about what our expectations are for her coming back home. I refuse to put up with koi from either of them. [/QUOTE]
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