Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Something I have never understood about my difficult children.
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 461583" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>Susie, this is great insight, and I think it makes perfect sense. Thank you. </p><p></p><p>I love the ideas about the hair dye etc., but honestly it just seems too much trouble.. they have complicated my life enough as it is. At this point I want to spend less energy on these issues, not more. If this were several years ago I might have tried it, but I am just worn out over the battles. I am going to think on it a bit and come up with something, though. She and the kids are gone for the weekend and I'm enjoying the peace and quiet, and regrouping.</p><p></p><p>I've learned that the key with both my difficult children is to remain unemotional about many of these issues, actually.. and to matter of factly dole out the consequences for their actions. I do think I'm entitled to occasionally blow and remind Youngest just how much I am doing for her, and how little she is doing for me in return, but timing those blow-ups can be key. If I do it every time she does something that bugs me, it loses its power. I did too much yelling back in the day, and it wasted a lot of time and energy and was counter-productive, I think. With my kids, anyway. </p><p></p><p>The good thing about all this is that she dislikes living here as much as I dislike having her live here, and these blow-ups push her into making plans for getting out. I believe that she'll end up moving in with the latest boyfriend, which isn't the greatest of choices for her or her children, but it is what it is. She has a dependent personality and this will probably be the story of her life, and her kids' lives, for many years to come.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 461583, member: 1157"] Susie, this is great insight, and I think it makes perfect sense. Thank you. I love the ideas about the hair dye etc., but honestly it just seems too much trouble.. they have complicated my life enough as it is. At this point I want to spend less energy on these issues, not more. If this were several years ago I might have tried it, but I am just worn out over the battles. I am going to think on it a bit and come up with something, though. She and the kids are gone for the weekend and I'm enjoying the peace and quiet, and regrouping. I've learned that the key with both my difficult children is to remain unemotional about many of these issues, actually.. and to matter of factly dole out the consequences for their actions. I do think I'm entitled to occasionally blow and remind Youngest just how much I am doing for her, and how little she is doing for me in return, but timing those blow-ups can be key. If I do it every time she does something that bugs me, it loses its power. I did too much yelling back in the day, and it wasted a lot of time and energy and was counter-productive, I think. With my kids, anyway. The good thing about all this is that she dislikes living here as much as I dislike having her live here, and these blow-ups push her into making plans for getting out. I believe that she'll end up moving in with the latest boyfriend, which isn't the greatest of choices for her or her children, but it is what it is. She has a dependent personality and this will probably be the story of her life, and her kids' lives, for many years to come. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Something I have never understood about my difficult children.
Top