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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 606857" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I'm sorry JKF, I also know that numb feeling. It sounds as if you've gotten yourself to a better place and recognize your lack of control....................having a sanctuary and a cup of coffee works wonders. </p><p></p><p>Sometime in the last year or two I spent a lot of time where you presently are, I know Cedar has as well...........no matter how you look at it, it sucks. However, at some point, all those big holes we fall in begin to close up due to our understanding of our complete lack of control over our kids choices..............and instead of tumbling down a huge hole, we walk around the hole...........then one day, we avoid the street the hole was on. It's all timing................today you practiced your detachment skills and you feel a tad better. You'll keep doing that until one day, his choices won't impact YOU the same way, even if he continues making the same choices over and over again, YOU will be okay. </p><p></p><p>I know your boy is young, I know how much you want to help him..............but he is making some interesting choices now which may throw all of your help overboard. If he gets into the boarding room, great, if he blew that option then HE will find another. There are always options, even if the option is he lives on the streets for now. </p><p></p><p>What is absolutely clear is that you've done all you can do and then some.............you've done a wonderful, consistent and loving job getting him every possible benefit and advantage you could. If you are out of options now, so be it.............that is what is meant to be, that is his fate, perhaps this is the point you can in essence, stop. Or not. It's entirely up to you.</p><p></p><p>Sending you big hugs. Hang in there and let us know what happens next.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 606857, member: 13542"] I'm sorry JKF, I also know that numb feeling. It sounds as if you've gotten yourself to a better place and recognize your lack of control....................having a sanctuary and a cup of coffee works wonders. Sometime in the last year or two I spent a lot of time where you presently are, I know Cedar has as well...........no matter how you look at it, it sucks. However, at some point, all those big holes we fall in begin to close up due to our understanding of our complete lack of control over our kids choices..............and instead of tumbling down a huge hole, we walk around the hole...........then one day, we avoid the street the hole was on. It's all timing................today you practiced your detachment skills and you feel a tad better. You'll keep doing that until one day, his choices won't impact YOU the same way, even if he continues making the same choices over and over again, YOU will be okay. I know your boy is young, I know how much you want to help him..............but he is making some interesting choices now which may throw all of your help overboard. If he gets into the boarding room, great, if he blew that option then HE will find another. There are always options, even if the option is he lives on the streets for now. What is absolutely clear is that you've done all you can do and then some.............you've done a wonderful, consistent and loving job getting him every possible benefit and advantage you could. If you are out of options now, so be it.............that is what is meant to be, that is his fate, perhaps this is the point you can in essence, stop. Or not. It's entirely up to you. Sending you big hugs. Hang in there and let us know what happens next. [/QUOTE]
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