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<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 607103" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p>JKF, if you can do it, make a determined effort to believe for the best. Picture in your mind that difficult child is safe. warm, happy in his own way. This will help you. If the situation is other than that, you will learn of it soon enough. Right now, you are suffering over something you cannot change. Your son knew this would happen and he chose it, JKF.</p><p></p><p>One way or another, consciously or not, this is what he wanted to do, next.</p><p></p><p>There is nothing you could have done to stop or to change what is happening, now. </p><p></p><p>Your son has not been victimized, he did not walk into this unaware. For whatever reason JKF, this is what he wants to do, for now. </p><p></p><p>We were horrified to learn our daughter was going to be homeless. </p><p></p><p>Horrified, sickened, sleepless.</p><p></p><p>And while we were suffering? She was fine, JKF. Not fine by our lights, but by her own.</p><p></p><p>It was a comfort to me to call shelters in the area and learn that homeless people could shower, eat, do laundry, receive mail. That my difficult child chose not to avail herself of these services was HER choice. When she did come home this summer, I learned that there is a whole subculture on the streets. It is dangerous, but people form little groups that watch out for one another. They share what they have. No one expects them to be sane, no one tries to control them. The rules are harsher, but very basic. They are able to do exactly what they want to do.</p><p></p><p>Please, JKF, use all the tools at your disposal to make it though this first, horrible night. </p><p></p><p>husband and I have learned that it is about surviving what our children choose to do. They do seem determined to walk the paths they end up walking WHATEVER WE HAVE DONE TO PREVENT THAT.</p><p></p><p>After all these years, I understand that my difficult child daughter is just...different. She truly could not care less about clean sheets or meals on time or any of the things that matter, to us. She went where she wanted to go, every time she went to the violent, vicious people she has felt most comfortable with, all of her life. I cannot say why this is. Not for her, and not for your son. But they are choosing this path, JKF. </p><p></p><p>Bless him, pray for him, and let him go.</p><p></p><p>As Recovering so often says, surround him with love, and accept that he is going where he wants to go.</p><p></p><p>He knew what would happen, JKF.</p><p></p><p>He wanted this. Crazy as it seems to us, this is what he wanted. Just like it is what my daughter wanted.</p><p></p><p>Please post often. We are here. We understand.</p><p></p><p>Sending strength, JKF.</p><p></p><p>I know how this hurts.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 607103, member: 1721"] JKF, if you can do it, make a determined effort to believe for the best. Picture in your mind that difficult child is safe. warm, happy in his own way. This will help you. If the situation is other than that, you will learn of it soon enough. Right now, you are suffering over something you cannot change. Your son knew this would happen and he chose it, JKF. One way or another, consciously or not, this is what he wanted to do, next. There is nothing you could have done to stop or to change what is happening, now. Your son has not been victimized, he did not walk into this unaware. For whatever reason JKF, this is what he wants to do, for now. We were horrified to learn our daughter was going to be homeless. Horrified, sickened, sleepless. And while we were suffering? She was fine, JKF. Not fine by our lights, but by her own. It was a comfort to me to call shelters in the area and learn that homeless people could shower, eat, do laundry, receive mail. That my difficult child chose not to avail herself of these services was HER choice. When she did come home this summer, I learned that there is a whole subculture on the streets. It is dangerous, but people form little groups that watch out for one another. They share what they have. No one expects them to be sane, no one tries to control them. The rules are harsher, but very basic. They are able to do exactly what they want to do. Please, JKF, use all the tools at your disposal to make it though this first, horrible night. husband and I have learned that it is about surviving what our children choose to do. They do seem determined to walk the paths they end up walking WHATEVER WE HAVE DONE TO PREVENT THAT. After all these years, I understand that my difficult child daughter is just...different. She truly could not care less about clean sheets or meals on time or any of the things that matter, to us. She went where she wanted to go, every time she went to the violent, vicious people she has felt most comfortable with, all of her life. I cannot say why this is. Not for her, and not for your son. But they are choosing this path, JKF. Bless him, pray for him, and let him go. As Recovering so often says, surround him with love, and accept that he is going where he wants to go. He knew what would happen, JKF. He wanted this. Crazy as it seems to us, this is what he wanted. Just like it is what my daughter wanted. Please post often. We are here. We understand. Sending strength, JKF. I know how this hurts. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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