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<blockquote data-quote="JKF" data-source="post: 607687" data-attributes="member: 12470"><p>Cedar - no that's not too mean to say. Not at all. I've thought about that a million times. I have already researched shelters out there. There are not many since it's a very small town but there are some options. I know how my dad is though and I honestly think in my gut that if anyone can help difficult child it's him. He's very patient but stern. But not in an angry way. In an understanding, yet firm way. difficult child responds well to that. When he gets out there he will have his own small efficiency apartment so they won't live together which will help a lot. My dad lives in the area and will see difficult child daily so that's good as well. Supervision to keep him on track but not constantly in his face. Eventually my dad will move into the same building but not the same apartment. </p><p></p><p>And yes, difficult child has done some pretty awful things in the past which prevent him from living in our home ever again. He has stolen more than I could ever begin to tally and destroyed our property. He has never physically harmed any of us but he's come close during rages and threatened to kill me and his younger brother. That was enough for me. When he's not angry we get along great but as soon as that rage kicks in all bets are off. </p><p></p><p>As for the guilt, I'm doing better day by day. I am seeing this for what it is. These are his choices and the consequences that follow. So I'm trying to keep myself detached every time he complains that he is cold, tired, and hungry. I know I'm doing a lot for him by sending him to what I believe will be a better life but I have to do this. He's 19 years old - mentally probably around 16 - and I just can't live with myself if I don't try to help him at this point in his life. I know it's likely that this too may end miserably but I'm not giving up hope just yet.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JKF, post: 607687, member: 12470"] Cedar - no that's not too mean to say. Not at all. I've thought about that a million times. I have already researched shelters out there. There are not many since it's a very small town but there are some options. I know how my dad is though and I honestly think in my gut that if anyone can help difficult child it's him. He's very patient but stern. But not in an angry way. In an understanding, yet firm way. difficult child responds well to that. When he gets out there he will have his own small efficiency apartment so they won't live together which will help a lot. My dad lives in the area and will see difficult child daily so that's good as well. Supervision to keep him on track but not constantly in his face. Eventually my dad will move into the same building but not the same apartment. And yes, difficult child has done some pretty awful things in the past which prevent him from living in our home ever again. He has stolen more than I could ever begin to tally and destroyed our property. He has never physically harmed any of us but he's come close during rages and threatened to kill me and his younger brother. That was enough for me. When he's not angry we get along great but as soon as that rage kicks in all bets are off. As for the guilt, I'm doing better day by day. I am seeing this for what it is. These are his choices and the consequences that follow. So I'm trying to keep myself detached every time he complains that he is cold, tired, and hungry. I know I'm doing a lot for him by sending him to what I believe will be a better life but I have to do this. He's 19 years old - mentally probably around 16 - and I just can't live with myself if I don't try to help him at this point in his life. I know it's likely that this too may end miserably but I'm not giving up hope just yet. [/QUOTE]
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