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<blockquote data-quote="Calamity Jane" data-source="post: 511471" data-attributes="member: 13882"><p>This is what I can never understand about substance abusers whose brains are "disordered", and their thinking is disordered even if they can manage to stop using for a while. We're told to let them hit bottom, detach, don't interfere, but if they really are mentally incapable of making healthy, normal choices for a sustained period of time, how can we just deal with this over and over again? Alternatively, how can we just program ourselves to detach if they are our children and their brains are compromised? It's a conundrum. Isn't it like yellling at someone with dementia or alzheimer's? They can't or won't hold jobs for long, and their perspective on society is skewed, combined with their low self esteem and apparent disregard for a "normal" lifestyle. Everything is just hard for them, Know what I mean?? They are what they are, no matter what we or anyone, or possibly even they can do about it. Even if they stop using for a while, they don't magically transform. We exist in either a world of guilt for stepping away, or face a lifetime of being held hostage by them and the results of their poor choices.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Calamity Jane, post: 511471, member: 13882"] This is what I can never understand about substance abusers whose brains are "disordered", and their thinking is disordered even if they can manage to stop using for a while. We're told to let them hit bottom, detach, don't interfere, but if they really are mentally incapable of making healthy, normal choices for a sustained period of time, how can we just deal with this over and over again? Alternatively, how can we just program ourselves to detach if they are our children and their brains are compromised? It's a conundrum. Isn't it like yellling at someone with dementia or alzheimer's? They can't or won't hold jobs for long, and their perspective on society is skewed, combined with their low self esteem and apparent disregard for a "normal" lifestyle. Everything is just hard for them, Know what I mean?? They are what they are, no matter what we or anyone, or possibly even they can do about it. Even if they stop using for a while, they don't magically transform. We exist in either a world of guilt for stepping away, or face a lifetime of being held hostage by them and the results of their poor choices. [/QUOTE]
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